Table of Contents
6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger Introduction
6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger. Are you angry at someone in your life? Have they hurt you and you’re struggling to let go of that anger and hurt?
We all get angry. It is a completely natural and normal reaction to circumstances. I’ve been there plenty of times, as I am sure you have as well. This is something that I’m struggling with right now, and the reason I felt the need to write about it. How do you let go of the anger that is consuming you? Through these 6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger!
People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.Stephen Hawking
Lately I have been paying more and more attention to the energy of the people around me and how it affects me. Certain people make me feel refreshed, supported, loved, and happy. Others make me feel angry, exhausted, and suck the energy out of me, and I need to either censor myself or simply be quiet because of that negative energy.
When I’m around people with a negative energy, I find myself angry. It feels like their energy was passed off to me and it is upsetting. Or something they said sticks with me and really affects me, making me angry. That is what inspired me to create the 6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger, to help others as I help to heal myself and work on this aspect of my life.
The Cycle of Anger
Before we look at the 6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger, let’s talk about the cycle of anger first. I firmly believe that when we understand the cycle of things, it is much easier to notice and start working on before it becomes overwhelming and difficult to handle.
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.Joseph Joubert
This is the event or situation that starts the cycle of anger and provokes an individual to react. This can be different for everyone, but here are a few very basic examples:
- Getting cut off in traffic driving to work.
- Having a bad day at work.
- Feeling disrespected or ignored.
- Someone says something hurtful or insulting.
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.Jason Thurber
Anger starts to appear on your face, like widening of the eyes, pupils becoming more dilated, or knotting your eyebrows. Your voice also changes pitch, for some going higher and some going lower, along with muscle tensing. Heart rate and blood pressure increase.
Once this starts to happen, the chances of being able to calm down decrease once the escalation phase has been reached because the body is getting ready for a crisis.
There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.Plato
This is the phase where your body is ready to act. Think fight or flight response and you choose to save yourself from potential danger, either physical or emotional.
The ability to be rational is greatly reduced at this point because anger instincts take over. A person may become a danger to themselves or others at this point.
Bitterness is like a cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.Maya Angelou
In this phase your body starts to gradually settle back down into a normal state. This means that the anger has been released by now, and the adrenaline surge drops and reasonable thinking starts to return.
Although during this phase, it may be easy to become triggered all over again, and the response even more severe than the original one because you may be trying to analyze the anger, and not quite be ready to yet.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.Benjamin Franklin
In this phase, a person returns to their senses and normal behavior happens. The body recovers balance as the heart rate and blood pressure returns to normal.
This is where we try to analyze the event that caused the anger and triggered a response. You may experience feelings of guilt, regret, embarrassment, and depression.
Anger is a very powerful emotion, and can be both complicated and harmful if not managed properly and dealt with in a healthy way.
6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger
Look at Both Sides
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nobody is perfect, and relationships are messy. We all screw up and cause anger and hurt to other people around us. It happens, and we can’t always stop it.
But what we can do is look at both sides and perspectives. Your anger toward a person and situation isn’t the only side here. That doesn’t make what someone did to you acceptable or mean that you’re willing to tolerate it. Your feelings are still completely valid.
But when you can step outside of yourself, your feelings and emotions, to look at it from another perspective, you can gain some insight into the situation and better understand it. When you are able to do that, you become more compassionate and forgiving, and relationships may be easier to repair because you are not holding onto that anger.
This isn’t an easy step, trust me. It takes practice, and certainly isn’t an overnight process. But nothing easy is ever worth doing. It is a valuable tool that once mastered, will serve you well throughout your life.
Find Inspiration in Others
Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.G.M. Trevelyan
When I am struggling, I often go back and read my own blog posts, because they almost always stem from personal experience. I just read my affirmations about setting boundaries because I’m struggling with a family member trying to control my life and choices. It really helped to remind me that I can set my own boundaries and it is perfectly okay to do so.
I also have a friend who is nothing but positive energy. He wants the absolute best for me and my husband, Nathan. We often call each other to talk about goals and these are the kind of calls that inspire and refresh me when they are done.
Ask for Help
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.Mark Twain
I am well aware that I’m not perfect, and make plenty of mistakes. Oftentimes more than once because habits die a long, slow, and painful death. No matter how much I’m working on myself, I still backslide at times.
When I struggle with anger or wonder if it is justified, I will ask other people in my life, explain the situation and ask for their opinion, to see if part of the problem is me and I contributed to the situation. If I’m part of the problem, I owe it to both myself and whoever I’m angry with to own my own responsibility in the situation.
I have a couple of trusted friends who are brutally honest, and that is exactly what you need as well. Don’t ask somebody who is just going to agree with you because that is what is expected, or they think is expected. Remember that the goal is to gain clarity and move away from anger, not toward it.
If you don’t have friends like that, consider seeking out a therapist, counselor, or even a pastor to help you navigate through your anger and help you work toward moving past it. At some point, we all need to let go of the anger and blame and take responsibility for the behavior and role it plays in making or breaking a relationship. That is true growth and you owe it to yourself to do so.
Cut the Cords
I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.Booker T. Washington
Sometimes when we are hurt by someone repeatedly, it may be in your best interest to cut ties with them and simply move on. Or you can also seriously limit your time and interactions with them, giving them less and less opportunities to hurt you or continue hurting you.
I have one family member who is a serious drain on my energy. Like sucks the life out of me with their negative and nasty attitude, especially when it comes to talking about my writing and my blogs. After I talk to this person, I end up in a foul mood, it causes migraines and exhaustion, and it takes me at least two days to recover and return to a peaceful place within myself to sit down and write and produce useful posts.
I have found that I have to limit my time spent with them, just for my own sanity. I’m not quite ready to cut them out of my life yet, but limitations and boundaries are absolutely essential because this happens every time I interact with this specific family member.
I’ve also unfollowed this person on social media. We’re still “friends” on social media, but their posts do not show up in my feed. So whatever passive aggressive bullshit they post isn’t affecting me or continuing to anger me because I can’t see it. Don’t be afraid to mute, silence, or block people both on social media and in real life. Sometimes it becomes a necessity.
Let Go of Fear
Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.Albert Einstein
Having a conversation with someone who hurt you can be scary. But pushing past your fear and standing up for yourself is empowering and will boost your confidence.
Ask yourself some important questions before going into the conversation:
- What is your purpose for having the conversation?
- What do you hope to accomplish?
- What would be an ideal outcome?
Fear is just an emotion, don’t let it hold you back. Just because you’re afraid doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have the conversation. When you’re uncomfortable, that is when you grow the most. Get comfortable being uncomfortable and embrace that.
Seek Out Helpful Resources
He who angers you conquers you.Elizabeth Kenny
I love working on myself and my personal growth. I’ve been focused on this for the last year or so, and it has made huge differences in my life, my personal relationships, and just my overall energy and happiness.
Resources could be books, classes about anger management, personal development, gratitude, or anything else you want it to be. It could be as simple as journal prompts to explore your feelings on a deeper level that you go back and read from a different mindset a day or two later.
Don’t ever be afraid to work on yourself and your own personal development to help you grow, learn about yourself, and handle emotions in healthy ways.
6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger Notes
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.Buddha
6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger. Letting go of anger can be difficult. Forgiveness can be the same way. Because it feels like when we aren’t angry with someone who hurt us, we are allowing or condoning their negative behavior. But that isn’t the case, not by any stretch of the imagination.
Getting rid of that thought process by letting go of the anger is challenging. But letting go of your anger, just like forgiveness, isn’t for the person who hurt you. It is for you. It is to move past that hurt to bigger and better things. Because your anger likely doesn’t affect the person who hurt you. Holding onto it hurts you though, and that can be exhausting.
Carrying around negative emotions like anger, hostility, resentment, or even refusing to forgive is simply punishing yourself every day for someone else’s actions that you can’t control or change. Why punish yourself for the actions of someone else? Do you really think you deserve that? Because I certainly don’t think so. You are in charge of your own happiness, and sometimes achieving that can be as simple as letting go of the anger you are feeling.
I know that everything I wrote here in these 6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger is often easier said than done. I totally get that because I’ve been there. I’m struggling with anger right now and letting go of it, because I trusted the wrong family member and it backfired on both me and my husband. I’m working on putting these tips into practice right now, and it is taking practice, lots of practice.
But just because it takes practice and patience doesn’t make it impossible. It is totally possible to be angry and then let it go. I think I owe it to myself to let go of that anger I’m feeling because the family member who caused it doesn’t deserve half as much of my time and energy as I’ve given to their actions and words and my anger centered around it.
Don’t let the fact it takes practice and patience with yourself stop you from letting go of the anger you’re experiencing! You can handle this, and then move on to bigger and better things that deserve far more of your time and attention. Keep working on yourself and improving. You got this. Seriously, you got this, and I believe in you and your strength.
6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger Discussion
To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves.Alexander Pope
Do you find yourself angry with someone and are struggling to forgive them for their actions and how they made you feel? Is letting go of that anger difficult for you? Have these 6 Great Ways to Let Go of Anger helped you in any way? Let me know your thoughts in the comments and if I can help support you on your journey to letting go of anger.