6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging

6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging Introduction 

6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging is a list I created because I’ve found that despite all the work I’ve put into my personal development, I still struggle with self sabotaging. Is this an issue in your life as well? Do you realize that you’re self sabotaging? Sometimes it happens and you don’t even realize it. Self sabotaging happens in every aspect of our lives, from work, goals, relationships, and more. 

My story is pretty simple. I was raised by a narcissist, and I had no identity or confidence. Plenty of dreams, but never the courage to chase them. I found comfort in staying the same, and just dreaming instead of actually doing. Because that is easy. These were self sabotaging behaviors. Finding the courage to chase my dreams and set attainable goals I could reach toward the bigger picture is something I became very passionate about, and I want to help you reach your full potential as well. 

I would dream of doing something, get started and be excited. Then somewhere along the way I get scared and uncomfortable. Instead of pushing through, I would immediately revert back to old habits of self sabotaging and give up. I always felt defeated, yet glad to be back in my comfort zone and not being forced to work so hard at something anymore. 

I was often afraid of reaching my goals and getting exactly what I wanted, because I had never done that before. Self sabotaging is like cutting the brake lines in your own car. Once I stepped outside of my comfort zone and really focused on following through with my goals, it was life changing. I found my happiness, my passion, my purpose, and I started to really evolve into exactly who I am supposed to be. 

If self sabotaging is something you struggle with, then these 6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging are for you! Let’s dive deeper into it and get you started on a much healthier path toward your goals and dream life. 

Signs of Self Sabotaging Behaviors 

• Constantly self critical 
• Overindulgent 
• Picking arguments and fights 
• Procrastination
• Fear 
• Staying comfortable

We all have times when we do all of the above. Bad days and challenges are nothing new for any of us. 

The difference between “normal” and self sabotaging is that you do these things so much that they hold you back. If you are choosing comfort over progress, you are self sabotaging. 

6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging 

Let go of the past 

Too many times in life we hang on to regret. Or punish ourselves for mistakes we’ve made. Somehow it feels like we deserve to be punished. But that simply isn’t true. Mistakes don’t define our lives. 

Every mistake you’ve ever made is a lesson and an opportunity for growth. Instead of punishing yourself, why not take the lesson, grow from it, and move on? 

How many times do we see some success story and applaud it? An example is a felon serving time in prison and then being released to create an amazing life or business that wouldn’t have happened without the mistakes and going to prison. We applaud those stories, right? Why can’t you do the exact same thing, without the whole going to prison part? The answer is, you can! You should be thinking about how far you’ve come since a mistake and applauding your own progress instead of beating yourself up for the mistake. 

I often have to recreate a recipe several times over before I’ve perfected it and can write about it. Rarely do I create what I deem perfect on the first try. But I get going on it again and start over without even thinking about it. The question is, why is it harder to do that in other areas of my life? It shouldn’t be. 

We should be normalizing starting over, making mistakes, learning along the way, and growing each time we fall down and get back up. Yet instead we often self sabotage and keep ourselves down instead of getting back up. 

To create the future life you desire, you have to leave your past in the past. You can’t change it, that’s for sure. So there is no use dwelling on it. Learn, grow, move forward. 

See the big picture 

What does your big picture look like? Envision your home, your job, your family. What do you want these things to look like? Be specific. Write these things down so you can see your dreams for yourself. 

Don’t be afraid to think big here. This is everything you want in your life to look like. 

Avoid negative self talk 

Think about the things you say to yourself every single day, and start writing them down. Then stop and notice how much negativity there is. When you write these down, you will likely be amazed at the things you say and think about yourself. 

One of my favorite phrases is, if you can’t be kind then be quiet. Because our brains believe what we tell them. If you’re saying negative things about yourself constantly, you’ll start to believe that and they will become your truth. 

Negative self talk gives you an incorrect opinion of yourself and your abilities. It is time to start ensuring that your self talk is both positive and supportive. If you need to, start writing down positive affirmations and saying them to yourself every day to help transition from negative self talk to positive self talk. 

Notice the habits that sabotage your success 

Think about your goals and the habits that stand in the way. Here are some examples: 

• I want to write 8 blog posts per week, but I only work 2 days a week for an hour each day. 
• I want to lose weight, but every time I’m stressed I eat a bag of potato chips and spend an entire day binge watching tv. 
• I want to save money, but I’m ordering something new on Amazon at least twice a week. 

Start being more aware of damaging habits that are part of self sabotaging. When you realize there is a problem and identify it, you can start to change that. Examples of changes are, I want to write my 8 blog posts, so I need to be working more than 2 days a week. Identify when you’re stressed and eat something healthier than a bag of potato chips, like crunchy vegetables. Make it a point to only order things on Amazon once a month instead of twice a week. 

Define your fear 

All self sabotaging is rooted in fear. The question is, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of failure? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of how others will view you? 

Understanding the basic fear that is causing you to sabotage yourself is key. Because you have two choices at this point. You can either get over that fear and move past it, or you can continue to get in your own way and be unhappy. The choice is yours. 

Set small goals 

Big goals can be scary. I totally understand that one, and this is especially true for someone who self sabotages. But goals should be both exciting and scary. If they aren’t a combination of both, you haven’t set the right goals for yourself. 

Start small though. Set smart, realistic goals that are actually attainable. Make a plan of action to follow through with your goals, because this will make you feel empowered, stronger, and more confident when you start making progress. You’ll learn that you are absolutely capable of reaching your goals. 

Once you do that, you can start setting bigger goals that take more time to reach. But start small in the beginning, and celebrate your success when you reach those goals. It doesn’t matter how big or small a goal is, always celebrate reaching it. 

Why Are You Self Sabotaging? 

Now that we’ve talked about how to change your self sabotaging habits, let’s talk about what to pay attention to so you’ll understand your own why. Part of changing behaviors within yourself is understanding why it happens and when it happens. But that is different for everyone, so you need to answer these for yourself. 

Know your ceiling 

When I say to know your ceiling, that means how far you can go before you begin to self sabotage yourself. 

If you’re trying to lose weight, how far do you get before something happens and you give up or end up eating an entire bag of potato chips 3 times in a week? 

If you’re trying to save money, how much do you save before you go on a shopping spree? 

Identify and change your beliefs 

What are specific beliefs that stand in your way of reaching your goals and further your self sabotaging behaviors and patterns? 

Examples of this would be failing high school English, so you can’t be a writer. Or believing you’re naturally chunky or chubby, so you aren’t meant to go below a certain weight. Or that you’ll always be poor because you don’t have a college degree. 

Look at all the beliefs related to your failed goals, where you want to become successful, and self sabotaging behaviors. Which of these beliefs are getting in your way? 

Notice the people that get in your way 

Sadly not everyone in our lives wants to see us succeed. They are just around to help us fail or hold us back. This can be a really tough lesson to learn and accept. I’ve struggled with this lately myself and it makes me angry. 

My husband and I sat down recently and made a list of the people who do want the absolute best for us, that we trust talking about our goals with, and sharing our success. We were wrong about two of them, and we made the choice to remove them from our lives. 

Sometimes when people become obstacles in your life and your path to success, you may need to consider removing them from your life. It sucks, trust me. But sometimes silence is the best way to handle that. They don’t need your attention, no dramatic goodbye, just silence. 

Step into your own lane, as I say, and stay there handling your business, your life, and your goals. You don’t need an audience or applause. If you do, become your own audience and applaud your success. 

6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging Notes 

The best part about self sabotaging is that you have the power to eliminate these behaviors and choices in your life. You can’t control how other people act, we all know this. But you are the source of your self sabotaging patterns, and therefore you absolutely have the power to eliminate them! 

If you are realizing how much you’re holding yourself back, first take a moment and smile. Be proud of the fact you can see these behavior patterns and notice that there is a problem that you want to change. 

Now it is time to step outside of your comfort zone, take control of your life, and reach your full potential. Because not only do you deserve it, you are totally capable of making it happen. You are actually more than capable of making it happen! 

6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging Discussion 

Do you struggle with self sabotaging behaviors? Have these 6 Simple Ways to Stop Self Sabotaging helped you? Is there any way I can support you in your journey to stop self sabotaging? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!