15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage

15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage Introduction 

15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage. I’ve been married to my husband, Nathan, since 2008. Which seems like a lifetime ago at times. But then again, I’ve known people who have been married for over 50 years, and in this day and age, it is one hell of a milestone. 

This made me stop and think about what makes a successful marriage. Because I’m here to tell you that neither of us are perfect. We are human. We screw up and hurt each other. A lot. There are times he loves to be right, and I’m just stubborn. Humans are imperfect, messy, and emotional.

I’m sure we can all make a list of faults we have. But that doesn’t help anything. The point is, nobody is perfect, and marriage is hard work. 

I also had no clue going into my marriage what it really took to be successful. Somehow when I was young, I thought just getting married meant living happily ever after. Nobody told me how much work went into staying in love and being successful. 

I also learned that just because it isn’t the magical fairy tale I expected, it doesn’t mean marriage isn’t an amazing thing. It is an incredible partnership that I wouldn’t trade for anything, because it has helped me grow into the wife and woman that I am. I honestly love how much that being married has taught me about life. I am always grateful for that.

Which is what really inspired me to write this 15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage post. Are you ready to learn about how to have a successful marriage? Come on in and let me tell you about it! 

15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage 

Learn to Apologize 

Apologies build trust. Because when you own your mistakes, it means you’re mature enough to admit when you’ve screwed up and are aware of the need to change it. 

Apologies are hard, because it really is owning your own bad or toxic behavior. It is far easier to point out someone else’s behavior and mistakes than to take responsibility for your own. 

Oftentimes it takes an apology on both sides, because people tend to think that one bad choice from their partner will justify a bad choice from them. Two wrongs don’t make a right! 

Choose Peace Over Being Right 

Marriage isn’t about constantly being right or wrong. That is a black and white way to look at it, and is a great way to destroy a marriage. 

Sometimes there isn’t a right and wrong answer or solution. Sometimes it is understanding that neither is wrong, while hearing each other at the same time. 

I think being heard is one of the best ways to create peace in a marriage. It really isn’t about being right or wrong, it is about hearing your husband or wife, and understanding their feelings, and doing it without judgement. 

Turn Toward Each Other 

Turning toward each other is a simple act of being thoughtful and considerate. It shows that you care and want to hear what your husband has to say. It is an amazing way to give them your full attention, especially when they are having a bad day or struggling with something. 

You can also ask what you can do to help, or just give them your full attention while they vent. 

This is an amazing and seriously simple way to show your husband that they are a priority, that their emotions are valid, and that you care. 

Be Appreciative 

Expressing gratitude to your husband is powerful, and I think one of the most understated or even underrated ways to maintain a successful marriage. Saying thank you and showing gratitude tells your partner that you’re not taking them for granted. 

The best part is that when your husband does something you’re grateful for and you show that gratitude, they are likely to keep doing it. Couples always want to please each other, so showing that gratitude is a way of telling them they’re doing it right. 

Never Go to Bed Angry 

This is advice that I’ve been hearing for years, never going to bed angry. Which is something I agree with. I will tell you that I never sleep well when I go to bed angry, and it really screws up the following day because I wake up in just as bad of a mood as I went to bed in. Why ruin two days? 

I am also superstitious in that, I don’t want an argument or nasty words to be the last thing I ever say to my husband, and I can’t take it back. Keep this in mind when going to bed angry. Is pouting, calling each other names, or whatever other angry words between you the absolute last thing you want to have said to each other? I will be the first one to say, I would likely feel guilty for the rest of my life. 

Be Kind 

Kindness goes a long way in life, and it isn’t any different in your marriage. 

You’re supposed to be a team. Marriage is a team sport. Repeat that with me. Marriage is a team sport. 

Nathan said something last January around my birthday that was really hurtful. He claimed it was a joke. Well, jokes don’t make people cry. Jokes also likely are not going to be remembered almost a year later. But unkind words that hurt are often remembered long after the moment has come and gone. 

I always say, if I can remember how it made me feel a year, or even five years down the road, and it isn’t a pleasant memory, it wasn’t a kind thing to say. Stop and think about that. Will your unkind words and how they made your partner feel be remembered years down the road? Be aware of your words and the impact they have on others. 

Always choose kindness. 

Prioritize Your Husband 

Do you make your husband a priority? If not, you should be doing it. The best investment into any marriage is time. Which is easy to lose track of, now more than ever. 

Life gets busy, and it is easy to forget about time with your husband, but it is an absolute necessity. You should never feel alone when standing next to your husband. He shouldn’t be feeling it either when you’re next to him. 

If you feel that, you need to be making him and time with him a serious priority. Like it jumps to the top of the list immediately, level serious priority. 

Not spending enough time together can lead to infidelity and sow seeds of distrust within both or your hearts. 

Break the Routine 

I’ll be the first to admit I actually struggle with this one. Routines are something I thrive on, because it keeps me sane. Routines are helpful in so many ways. 

The problem is, when it comes to routines in relationships, they equal boring. Routine means stagnant and boring, which can often lead to resentment. This is especially easy to have happen in longer relationships. How do you surprise each other? How do you do something different? 

How to break the routine? Try having sex in a new place. A quickie in the garage, for example. Or bent over the kitchen counter during a midnight run for a snack. Have sex in the morning instead of at night. 

Go to a new restaurant you’ve never tried. Give role playing a try, like meeting a total stranger at a bar or restaurant and talking to each other. Do something besides dinner and a movie for a date night. Surprise your husband when he gets home from work with a night in you’ve planned, and already got a babysitter for the kids. 

Think outside the box a bit, and break the routine. You’ll be amazed at how memorable these moments are, and just how necessary they are as well. 

Be Honest 

Be brutally honest. Let’s be honest here (pun absolutely intended), if you have to censor yourself in any way, you are not in a good relationship. You should be comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. Because they are necessary for the growth of any relationship. 

Honesty really is always the best policy. 

Manage Issues with Maturity 

Y’all are adults, so act like it. Don’t be petty and stupid when it comes to an issue, argument, or anything else. I feel like this one should be obvious, but it isn’t always the case. Especially if you are someone who got married young. Handling issues with maturity and grace may not be as obvious as it is to others. 

Handling issues with maturity means that you don’t do things like bring up the past, do anything out of spite or revenge, react from a place of anger and hostility. 

This is really something that gets easier as you get older, but that doesn’t make it any less important all the time, no matter how long you’ve been married. 

Communicate 

Seriously, communicate. Communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more. Keep going, even if it feels like overkill. Neither of you are mind readers, and if you expect your other half to be one, you’re going to be greatly disappointed. Which is why communication is essential. 

Remember that without communication, absolutely nothing changes. There isn’t even a chance to make it change, so you have to talk about it. 

Close Your Ears, Eyes, and Mouth 

When I say close your ears, eyes, and mouth, it means you need to be quiet. Meaning you don’t need to go running to anyone else, your friends, your mother, your co-workers to run your mouth about your partner and how terrible they are, or the problems that you’re having. 

If you have time to complain to others, you have time to communicate with your partner and work on things. 

You also don’t need to be looking for greener grass elsewhere. You need to be busy watering your little patch of grass. Successful marriages and any kind of relationship are successful because two imperfect people refuse to give up on each other. Don’t go looking for greener grass. 

Be Supportive 

Marriage is a team sport, and you should be supportive of each other. This means nurturing both your marriage and your individual identities. 

Always make time for yourself, as well as time together. Everybody needs their alone and self-care time. For me, this is reading, and for Nathan, my husband, it is playing video games. 

Being supportive also means being a safe space, a sounding board, a cheerleader for your spouse. They should be able to vent about their day if necessary, to ask questions about a conflict, or even to just get support and know they can handle a challenge. 

Praise Your Partner 

Positive reinforcement just feels good for anybody. But especially for your spouse. This goes back to the communication aspect. Praising them is communicating that you like something, or want them to do it more. 

It is also just good to help build them up. I always compliment my husband when he picks out a piece of clothing I think looks really good on him and tell him why I like it. For example, his butt looks really good in a specific pair of jeans. Or a shirt compliments his skin tone. 

I also make it a point to express gratitude when he does something to help me out, like I forgot to eat dinner while working and he saves the day by bringing me something on his way home from work. 

I always say praise over criticism. It is just a simple way to find positive things your spouse does, and mention them. 

Concentrate on the Good 

Concentrating on the good is absolutely essential to any successful relationship. 

If you don’t believe me, when you drive to work tomorrow morning, strat looking for red trucks. Just focus on noticing any and all red trucks in traffic during your commute. Then notice how often you start seeing them when you aren’t looking for any red trucks in traffic. Pretty soon that is going to be the only thing you see when you’re driving. 

Concentrating on anything is exactly that way. What you focus on grows, and so why not concentrate and focus on the good things. If you focus on the bad, that is all you’re going to see, and it is honestly going to make you miserable. 

You have a choice to focus on the good or the bad. Focus on the good parts of your spouse, and pretty soon you’ll see a lot more of them. 

15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage Notes 

Marriage is seriously hard work, but it is absolutely worth it in the end. I am not the same person as I was when I got married, and I am beyond grateful for that. I’m also grateful that I found my person to grow and grow old with. Life is a crazy ride, but that is part of the fun, in my opinion. 

If I’ve learned anything along the way is that marriage really is a team sport, but that doesn’t mean we lose our individual identity. It also means that we should be working on ourselves as well as our marriage along the way. Because there needs to be growth in all aspects of our lives. Everything works together. 

15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage Discussion 

Have these 15 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage helped you at all? Are there any of these that you struggle with more than others? Tell me about it! Especially if you have any advice on how to handle a specific area that you’ve struggled with along the way. I would love for you to share your personal experiences, if you feel comfortable with it.

How long have you been married? Is there any specific year that you found to be the hardest to handle?

Do you have any advice to add to this? I want to hear your ideas and suggestions!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!