Table of Contents
40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries Introduction
40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries is a list of affirmations I created because setting boundaries is one of the best places to start when it comes to your own peace and happiness.
Setting boundaries is a way of standing up for yourself. These affirmations are meant to help you reinforce your self-worth and empower you to prioritize your needs and your happiness above that of other people in your life.
What Does a Lack of Boundaries Look Like?
If you don’t set healthy boundaries, you are likely to constantly be at the disposal of others. You allow them to tell you how to think, feel, and act. You likely lack your own personal individual identity because you are a people pleaser.
This also means that you likely spend a lot of time and energy doing what others want you to do, and allowing your needs and wants to take a backseat to the needs and demands of others. Saying no may be difficult or even impossible for you to do.
You likely struggle with articulating your feelings for fear of rejection, ridicule, or even conflict. How others perceive you is a burden, and you strive to make everyone happy around you. It is likely a very heavy burden to carry around with you everyday and feels exhausting.
What happens when you have no boundaries? You feel powerless. You likely feel like you have absolutely no power or control over your life, your money, and even your time. If you’re experiencing these things, it is time to take a step back and re-evaluate your boundaries. You’ll likely find that setting some boundaries will empower you to regain control over your own life and your overall happiness will improve significantly.
Will People Be Upset When I Set Boundaries?
Yes, this will greatly upset some people in your life. People who are accustomed to getting their way don’t like it when things don’t go their way. They have been conditioned to believe that they are entitled to everything they want, and setting boundaries is like a slap in the face because they feel like their power is being taken away. This makes them angry.
Be prepared to stand strong and firm on your boundaries. If you allow someone to walk over you and disregard your boundaries, you are showing both them and yourself that you have no respect for yourself.
However this will not happen with everyone. The only people who will be upset with you setting boundaries are the ones who benefitted from you having none. Read that over again and repeat it if necessary.
Am I Mean or Rude for Setting Boundaries?
Absolutely not! You are neither mean, rude, or a bad person for setting boundaries. Never let anyone make you feel like you are. Boundaries protect you from being hurt and taken advantage of. They also create and cultivate healthy relationships with clear expectations.
Boundaries are a sign that you respect yourself, your time, your space, peace, and happiness. It is not only a sign you respect yourself, but a way you show yourself love.
Setting healthy boundaries through these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries will build a greater self-esteem and boost your confidence. This will help you to be more clear on who you are, what you want, and what your values are.
Setting boundaries helps you understand and articulate what is okay and not okay for you. It is a way of telling others how you want to be treated, and not allowing anything you’re not okay with. Boundaries are essential because they help improve your mental health and your mood.
Why Do I Struggle with Setting Boundaries?
Think back on your childhood and consider your upbringing. Young children are often shamed and scolded for having needs and preferences. Since their survival depends on their parents, people-pleasing becomes a great survival tool. Here are some examples you may recognize from your own childhood:
- You were dismissed, ridiculed, or belittled when you expressed your needs. You may have been labeled as dramatic, difficult, or ungrateful.
- When you refused to do things that made you uncomfortable, you were scolded, apologized for, and told to be nice.
- You had too many responsibilities for your age, possibly due to the absence of a parent because of their addiction, physical illness or mental health issues.
- You were raised by a narcissist who withheld their love and care if you did not behave in a certain way.
- You felt unsafe due to emotional or physical abuse.
- Your parents or caregivers were overly worried, concerned, or involved in your life. You felt responsible for their emotions and learned to suppress yours to protect them.
Your lack of boundaries likely helped you survive childhood. But now as an adult, you deserve to do more than survive. You deserve to thrive. If you feel guilty for setting healthy boundaries, you will want to take a step back and look at why you feel that way. Guilt is merely an outdated coping mechanism that will keep you in survival mode and prevent you from thriving and being able to set healthy boundaries.
What are the Benefits of Setting Healthy Boundaries?
There are some amazing benefits to setting healthy boundaries. People will clearly understand your limits and your expectations on how they treat you.
Setting healthy boundaries through these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries will help you to:
- Build a greater self-esteem.
- Be clear on who you are, what you want, and what your values are.
- Bring focus to yourself and your wellbeing.
- Enhance and improve your mental health.
- Avoid burnout.
- Develop independence.
- Gain a greater sense of identity and individuality.
- Have more compassion.
- Greater assertiveness.
- Your needs are met.
- Less anger and resentment.
- Feelings of peace and safety.
- More time to do things that nourish your mind, body, and spirit, and bring you joy.
- Feeling respected by yourself and others.
- Less conflict in relationships.
- Improved communication.
- Less anxiety and stress.
- Feeling understood and accepted by friends and family.
40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries
Are you ready to take control of your life with these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries? Let’s go!
- I don’t have to please others to be loveable.
- I have the power to speak up when something doesn’t feel right.
- My needs are just as important as other people’s.
- My worth is not measured by the approval of others.
- My desires are just as valid as other people’s.
- My thoughts and feelings carry value.
- I have the power to stand up for myself.
- It is in my control to either accept or allow how I am treated.
- Every time I practice something, I get better at it.
- Small steps make a huge difference.
- I don’t have to answer right away just because someone asked me a question.
- My needs may be different than those around me and that is perfectly okay.
- I can state my needs without giving excuses.
- I can be assertive without being aggressive.
- I need to make myself a priority.
- I can choose how to use my time.
- I trust myself to make the best decisions for my life.
- I embrace my uniqueness and know that I have value to offer.
- I am capable of overcoming challenges.
- I believe in myself and my abilities.
- I can bounce back from difficulties.
- I deserve to be heard.
- I deserve to be treated with respect.
- My emotions and feelings are valid.
- I have the power to craft the life I love.
- I have the right to prioritize my needs.
- I can act in a way that aligns with my values.
- I communicate my boundaries assertively and with kindness.
- I deserve to be surrounded by people who respect me.
- I release any guilt or shame associated with setting boundaries and prioritize my own self-care.
- Speaking up for myself is an act of self-love.
- I am worthy of relationships that respect and honor my values.
- I trust my intuition and make decisions that are right for me.
- I acknowledge every small step I take toward my goals.
- I speak and act in a way that aligns with my authentic self.
- I am not responsible for pleasing others at the expense of my own needs.
- I am not responsible for the happiness and satisfaction of others.
- My value lies in being true to myself, not in meeting the expectations of others.
- I let go of the fear of rejection and embrace my own worthiness.
- I am free to be who I am.
40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries Notes
Learning to set boundaries is a skill that requires time, practice, and patience. It also requires self-compassion and kindness. That is why these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries are so essential in my life, and I hope yours as well.
Discomfort is going to be part of the process, especially in the beginning. Being comfortable with your boundaries and articulating them to others isn’t always fun. Get comfortable being uncomfortable for a little while. Because it takes practice. But the more you practice setting boundaries, the easier it becomes and the more confidence you gain.
This will also show you who belongs in your life. Remember how I said earlier that the only people who get upset with you setting boundaries are the ones who benefitted from you having none? It will become very obvious very quickly exactly who those people are, and you’ll know who belongs in your life and who doesn’t.
I encourage you to find specific affirmations from this list that speak to and resonate with you, and start repeating them to yourself daily. You don’t have to use all of them daily. That’s a lot! That is why reading them and finding the ones that will be the most useful to you is the way to go. When you do, write them down, highlight them, and put them where you can see them each and every day.
Then read them and repeat them to yourself daily, until they become your new normal and you believe them.
40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries Discussion
I was so inspired to write these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries because boundaries were something I struggled with for many years because I was raised not only by a textbook narcissist, but I was also raised to be a people-pleaser. Developing my own identity was often shamed and criticized, and it took me several years after cutting these family members out of my life to fully break that cycle and learning about who I am and what makes me happy.
Once I did that, it was kind of amazing just how much I learned and re-discovered about myself. There were a number of things that I had suppressed for so many years that even I had forgotten about them. You know when you hide something for safekeeping and you hide it so well that even you don’t know where it is? It can actually happen with your personality, your characteristics that make you an individual, and even with your dreams and goals.
One of the reasons that I’m so passionate about my blogs is that I knew when I was about fifteen years old that I wanted to write. But I was afraid because I lived in survival mode and had no personal identity and completely lacked confidence that I convinced myself that I couldn’t do it. I also knew my mother would dismiss the idea as well, as she so often did.
It took me many more years to find blogging, and to develop The Prepping Wife, The Cooking Wife, The Reading Wife, and here at The Homemaking Wife and fall in love with it. Those were a huge part of developing my identity and learning who I was. Which happened because I finally learned how to set boundaries with people in my life and start saying no.
I want you to break that cycle too. To develop your own identity, sense of self, be a confident and amazing woman, to be truly happy. Not just surviving, but thriving. Everyone deserves that, and you are the only person who can make that happen for yourself. You deserve that. You owe it to yourself, and you give it to yourself through setting healthy boundaries. That is why these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries are so important to me.
Do you struggle with setting boundaries in your life? Have these 40 Easy Reminders to Set Boundaries helped you in any way? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!