8 Ways to Build Trust in Your Marriage
8 Ways to Build Trust in Your Marriage. Trust is essential in any relationship for it to be happy, healthy, and successful. But it can be a touchy subject to discuss for couples as well. Because it is scary. Especially when it comes to talking about if there is trust, or if this is something that needs to be worked on.
A lack of trust puts a huge strain on any relationship. When building a relationship, trust is one big part of the foundation. Take that away, and cracks in the foundation will happen, causing it to become weak and start falling apart. Nobody wants that in their marriage! I certainly don’t want to see it happen to anyone either.
When there is trust in a marriage, both partners feel safe and secure. That means both can be themselves, express feelings and emotions, and build each other up. Here are my favorite 8 Ways to Build Trust in Your Marriage!
I feel like this one should be obvious, but it still needs to be stated. Without honesty, there is no trust. It cannot exist!
Honesty isn’t just telling the truth though. It runs so much deeper than that in a marriage. It is about the ability to be open and honest about everything, no matter how big or small, and no matter how difficult the subject is.
Honesty means that you can talk about absolutely anything. I think far too often most people are guilty of omitting something or simply skipping a necessary conversation altogether because it is a difficult or uncomfortable one. Is this lying? No, but it doesn’t qualify as honest or trustworthy either.
Stick to Your Word
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. No excuses, no lies, no nothing other than direct results and promises kept. It is that simple. You say you’ll do it, do it. Follow through and be reliable. If you can’t do it, don’t promise to do it and then fail.
When you stick to your word, it gives power to your words. Remember back in the old days when a handshake and a promise was as good as a legal binding contract? Make your words count that same way in your marriage!
Little Stuff Matters
Little white lies add up to bigger lies. If you are lying about the small stuff, why would your partner believe you’re telling the truth about the bigger stuff?
White lies are tiny chips at the foundation of trust in a marriage. They are like cavities. They start slowly as plaque, and slowly eat away at the tooth, until it is rotting, has holes, and needs to be forcefully removed entirely.
Be predictable. Be dependable. Show up for your marriage! Consistency is one of the best ways to build trust.
There is no room for anything else in a marriage.
Things don’t always go according to the plan, and that is okay. But if a change is going to happen, it needs to be communicated and understood by both parties.
Neither of you are mind readers. Don’t expect your partner to be one! Use your words if you aren’t able to be consistent at all times.
Talk About the Hard Stuff
I think that building trust requires some discomfort, and I’m pretty okay with that. I would rather talk about things than simply sweep them under the rug because it is uncomfortable. It isn’t always easy to bring these subjects up in conversation or get them started.
This is difficult because every person is different, and they come from different backgrounds and perspectives. It is a great opportunity to learn more about your partner, because it requires good listening and communication skills.
It isn’t just about discussing the hard stuff and being uncomfortable either. It is about learning who your partner is and why they feel the way they do about a subject. It is an opportunity to learn about their background and understand their perspective. You don’t have to agree with them, but it is still important to understand why they feel a specific way.
Be prepared to be uncomfortable!
Don’t Be a Detective
If you are looking for something wrong, you’re going to find it. When you look for problems, you’re guaranteeing yourself to find problems. Sit down.
I’ll be the first to admit that I used to do this all the time, and I was disappointed every single time because I found the problems I was looking for. That came from my background of an abusive childhood.
Part of building trust is seeing the best in someone instead of the worst, and making the conscious choice to focus on that instead of the negatives.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and learn more about your partner. But also ask from an open minded place. There is nothing that will make your partner shut down faster than answering questions when it feels like an interrogation.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
Playing the blame game is like playing hot potato, only with blame, and that doesn’t build trust. It builds anxiety and hostility. No passing blame back and forth.
Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Because otherwise there is no actual problem solving going on. It is just arguing for the sake of hearing yourselves talk or yell.
Keep in mind that there are two people in your marriage, and neither of you are perfect. Mistakes will be made. There is no avoiding it. I’ve been married since 2008, and guess what? We both still make mistakes.
It is crucial to take responsibility for your own mistakes and things that happened. Hold on to the hot potato instead of passing it off to your partner!
There is a reason that the windshield in a car is so big, and the rearview mirror is so small in comparison. There is no use holding on to the past and the mistakes that were made. Mistakes should be a lesson, not a life sentence.
Moving on from mistakes and problems is vital to building trust. You can’t change it. What you can do is learn from it though. Remember that the best apology is changed behavior.
8 Ways to Build Trust in Your Marriage Notes
Working on your marriage and building trust is an amazing thing. But never stop working on yourself at the same time! I always strive to be the best wife, while also striving to be the best woman that I can be right along with that. They really do go hand in hand, and work together.
Trust is one piece of the puzzle in a marriage, and that marriage won’t function well without that piece.
8 Ways to Build Trust in Your Marriage Discussion
Do you have trust in your marriage? Is that something you need to work on? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!