4 Amazing Life Changing Choices

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4 Amazing Life Changing Choices Introduction

4 Amazing Life Changing Choices. I’m not going to lie, I’m getting older. Not old yet, but certainly old enough to have learned a few things, and also to resist certain generational changes. Such as using a QR code to access a menu in a restaurant. I also stand up from my desk with a few sound effects.

There are four things that I’ve stopped doing in the last couple of years as I get older, and they have really transformed my life in the most amazing ways. I never expected it or was really prepared for it, as they were gradual changes, but I can’t ignore the wonderful results, and that is what I want to share with you here.

I firmly believe that as we get older and more knowledgeable, midlife should be the best time of our lives! 40 is rapidly approaching, and faster than I want it to. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t go back in time or want to be younger again. I’ve learned too much, earned my gray hair, and really become my best self.

I have become grateful for everything in my life, the experiences, the people, even the smallest things. I also feel a greater compassion for everyone around me. I understand that we each have our own path to walk, and I’m learning to be more respectful of every person’s journey, as it is unique.

Are you ready to hear about the 4 Amazing Life Changing Choices? Come on in and let me tell you about them!

I Stopped Caring About Other People’s Opinions

In the past, I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of me. It’s all a waste of time. Life is honestly too short to care what other people think. One of my favorite phrases I’ve come to say is, “we’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.” Because it is so true. Nobody is perfect, it is just that simple.

I have since come to realize that people are naturally going to judge others based on their own perspective and set of beliefs. This is something I can’t control, and neither can you. In trying to do so, you are giving your power away.

Be concerned with how you feel about yourself. When I learned to focus my concern on how I feel about myself, that became my guiding compass in my life. This strengthened my relationship with myself, and helped me to evolve into a happier and more resilient person.

Oftentimes people can be incredibly negative, and it can hurt when it is turned toward you. It can also create unnecessary drama. But only if you let it. Repeat that with me. Only if you let it.

A great example of that is, when I started this blog. Someone close to me called this one, “ugly, stupid, and hard to read.” Then called all four of my blogs, “boring as shit.” I let this bother me for a while, as it hurts. I mean, what kind of person says things like that? Especially one who says “be kind” on their Facebook page. Those aren’t kind things, and I called this person a hypocrite.

I confronted this person, and they attempted to gaslight me by calling me crazy, denying they said those things, and telling me I was being dramatic. I lost all respect for this person, because of their lack of accountability. Side note, that my patience with people lacking accountability for their words and actions has drastically been reduced as I get older. I respect people who own their worlds and actions, no matter how terrible they are.

But besides losing respect for them and blocking them in every possible way, I was reminded that I started this specific blog to have a voice. To use my own experiences to help women, to cheer them on toward becoming their best self. My experiences may very well be your survival roadmap. I wasn’t going to let one nasty person silence the voice I worked so hard to find within myself. Never again would I allow anyone to silence me, because I spent over half my life allowing that.

One single person’s ugly opinion didn’t define who I am. Calling something I am passionate about stupid or boring as shit is a reflection on themselves, and not on my capabilities as a writer. When I realized that, their opinion lost every ounce of power it had. That power is mine again.

Never ever underestimate the power and freedom that comes from staying true to yourself and honoring your unique contribution to the world. You were born with a purpose, and that is something that no one can take from you.

This reminded me that I want to cheer on others when they find the courage to do something that speaks to their soul. It doesn’t matter whether I understand it or not. If they are passionate, I want to be a voice of support instead of opposition.

My husband and I had a discussion about the nasty person I mentioned above. I said, I don’t care about losing them as a part of my life. I will be content losing every single person in my life. As long as I never lose myself again, I’m good. Which is my mantra as I get older. As long as I don’t lose myself ever again, I’m content. Because that isn’t a price I’m willing to pay to have specific people in my life.

The best part about this is when you take that attitude, the negative people drift away and fade into the background. Because they have no power in your life. When you take control, you take away their relevance to your life. You don’t need to say goodbye or do anything dramatic. Just take away their power and relevance by being confident in yourself and your path, and not care what they think, and they’ll just sort of magically and quietly disappear from your life.

If you need expert advice, look inward, and not toward the opinions of others. You know what is best for you because you are the only person walking in your shoes. Trust your inner voice and move forward with confidence.

There is no such thing as a wrong decision. Either things will work out exactly as you planned, or you will learn an important lesson. You can always pivot and change directions. Whatever the outcome is, the universe will give you the best experience for the evolution of your soul, and that is exactly why you’re here.

The interesting thing about this is when you really actually stop caring about what people think, it isn’t so much of a conscious choice. It is more of a gradual mindset shift. Which I think is the best way to go.

I Stopped Judging Everything

When I started practicing mindfulness, I was honestly surprised to realize how judgmental I was. This was about everything and everyone. Remember how I said earlier that we’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having it all together? Yeah, that was totally me too.

Being judgmental is a classic sign of negative thinking, and it isn’t healthy because it turns into a vicious cycle that can sometimes feel impossible to get out of. It is like being on a burning roller coaster and deciding at the very top that you need to get off of it.

Being judgmental is a reflection on you, and not on the person you’re judging. It is a sign of your own insecurities or ego.

What many people don’t realize is that when you make unkind remarks or comments, that negativity you give out is sent right back to you. It is a way of creating bad karma, and blocking your own joy.

Judgment is an ugly thing. We should all be here to love and support each other, especially as women. If all women started supporting each other instead of competing, we would literally be unstoppable!

I Learned to Say No

I learned to say no, say it with confidence, and not to give explanations. I didn’t need to justify saying no with some lame long-winded excuse. The answer was no, and I meant it. That’s it.

When should you say no? Whenever something doesn’t feed your soul. Is it going to nourish your soul or suck the energy and life out of you?

Your time is valuable, and it is time you started acting like it! If it doesn’t feed your soul, it isn’t worth your time, and you should be saying no. It will take practice, trust me. It isn’t easy when you first start doing it.

The way you treat yourself is a reflection on how you allow others to treat you. When you start saying no and respecting your time and boundaries, you’re showing other people how to treat you. When you allow yourself to be treated like a doormat, you’re showing other people how to treat you, and it says a lot about how much or how little you respect yourself.

You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone else, and that is incredibly empowering! Give yourself the permission to be unapologetically you. You will discover so many possibilities that open themselves up to you.

I have also noticed over time that many conversations are opportunities to gossip or complain about others. I didn’t have anything to contribute, as that wasn’t the type of conversations I wanted to be part of. So I became a great listener. I didn’t have to constantly talk, just to be part of the group, because gossip and complaints didn’t make me feel good about myself when I spoke like that.

I Stopped Caring About Useless Trivial Things

When I was younger, I worried about everything, even the dumbest and smallest things. Because I didn’t have the insight and life experience that I do now. Now I really realize just how insignificant most of the stuff I worried about truly was. Everything, and I mean everything, was a big deal. This also caused a lot of anxiety.

I would also have an emotional reaction when things didn’t go my way. The results were that life circumstances controlled me and my attitude, not the other way around.

At this point in my life, I am tuned in to what honestly and truly matters. This is spending time with my family and my friends, my writing, my hobbies like reading, and anything else that brings me joy in my life.

There is the old saying that you can’t control the curveballs that life throws at you, but you can control how you respond to them. When you realize you’re in charge of your attitude, energy, and emotions, you take a whole new level of control over your life, and it is incredibly powerful.

In the past I would also allow other people to make me feel good or bad, worthy or unworthy of their affections, or even their approval. Now, I feel so much compassion for my younger self, because that is just a terrible way to live, constantly worrying about little things and how everyone else thought of me.

I can’t imagine what I was thinking back then. Like maybe I had this crazy idea that life was just supposed to magically work out in my favor, so I let the outside world dictate my emotional state, define my worth, and tell me how to feel about myself.

This could be a severe lack of both confidence and life experience back then, too. Confidence, happiness, and acceptance all come from within. Once I really figured this out, I stopped seeking validation, happiness, and acceptance from outside sources and started embracing that I had all of that within me.

4 Amazing Life Changing Choices Notes

The Big Life Questions

What is life trying to teach me?
What experiences do I wish to fill my life with?
How do I want to spend my valuable time?
What kind of relationships do I want to cultivate?
How am I making the lives of the people around me better?
How can I make a difference in my corner of the world?
Am I approaching life with love, understanding, and compassion?

When I stop and think about these “big” questions, it really does impact how I approach things and respond to them within my life. It makes me think about how I respond to others.

As I approach 40, I think about all the wisdom I’ve accumulated over the years, how much I’ve changed and grown even over just the last few years. I feel such a deep sense of gratitude for it all. I’m far less critical of myself and others. Every day that goes by, I feel more and more like my authentic self, and I am no longer apologizing for that or trying to hide it.

There is so much more life ahead of me, more learning, and more growing. The best is yet to come! When I think about that, I am excited to see what is in store for me, because I know I haven’t reached my full potential yet, but I am absolutely on the right track to doing so.

I know that I have the power to keep recreating myself and to write my own happy ending. This doesn’t mean life isn’t hard. But hardships and struggles don’t define me. What I learn and how I grow into my best self through those struggles is what defines me.

When you learn the important life lessons that you’re meant to learn, you open yourself up to an unlimited world of possibilities, and I can’t think of a better way to embrace the journey of life.

4 Amazing Life Changing Choices Discussion

Have you made these 4 Amazing Life Changing Choices for yourself yet? Are you working on it? Is there any specific area that you’re struggling with? Would you add anything to this list?

I want to help support you in your own journey through making these 4 Amazing Life Changing Choices. Let me know in the comments how I can help you, or simply share your own personal experiences about getting older and what you have learned!