4 Amazing Life Changing Choices. I’m not going to lie, I’m getting older. Not old yet, but certainly old enough to have learned a few things, and also to resist certain generational changes. Such as using a QR code to access a menu in a restaurant. I also stand up from my desk with a few sound effects. 

There are four things that I’ve stopped doing in the last couple of years as I get older, and they have really transformed my life in the most amazing ways. I never expected it or was really prepared for it, as they were gradual changes, but I can’t ignore the wonderful results, and that is what I want to share with you here. 

I firmly believe that as we get older and more knowledgeable, midlife should be the best time of our lives! 40 is rapidly approaching, and faster than I want it to. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t go back in time or want to be younger again. I’ve learned too much, earned my gray hair, and really become my best self. 

I have become grateful for everything in my life, the experiences, the people, even the smallest things. I also feel a greater compassion for everyone around me. I understand that we each have our own path to walk, and I’m learning to be more respectful of every person’s journey, as it is unique. 

Are you ready to hear about the 4 Amazing Life Changing Choices? Come on in and let me tell you about them! 

4 Amazing Life Changing Choices 

I Stopped Caring About Other People’s Opinions 

In the past, I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of me. It’s all a waste of time. Life is honestly too short to care what other people think. One of my favorite phrases I’ve come to say is, “we’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their own shit together.” Because it is so true. Nobody is perfect, it is just that simple. 

I have since come to realize that people are naturally going to judge others based on their own perspective and set of beliefs. This is something I can’t control, and neither can you. In trying to do so, you are giving your power away. 

Be concerned with how you feel about yourself. When I learned to focus my concern on how I feel about myself, that became my guiding compass in my life. This strengthened my relationship with myself, and helped me to evolve into a happier and more resilient person. 

Oftentimes people can be incredibly negative, and it can hurt when it is turned toward you. It can also create unnecessary drama. But only if you let it. Repeat that with me. Only if you let it. 

A great example of that is, when I started this blog. Someone close to me called this one, “ugly, stupid, and hard to read.” Then called all four of my blogs, “boring as shit.” I let this bother me for a while, as it hurts. I mean, what kind of person says things like that? Especially one who says “be kind” on their Facebook page. Those aren’t kind things, and I called this person a hypocrite. 

I confronted this person, and they attempted to gaslight me by calling me crazy, denying they said those things, and telling me I was being dramatic. I lost all respect for this person, because of their lack of accountability. Side note, that my patience with people lacking accountability for their words and actions has drastically been reduced as I get older. I respect people who own their worlds and actions, no  matter how terrible they are. 

But besides losing respect for them and blocking them in every possible way, I was reminded that I started this specific blog to have a voice. To use my own experiences to help women, to cheer them on toward becoming their best self. My experiences may very well be your survival roadmap. I wasn’t going to let one nasty person silence the voice I worked so hard to find within myself. Never again would I allow anyone to silence me, because I spent over half my life allowing that. 

One single person’s ugly opinion didn’t define who I am. Calling something I am passionate about stupid or boring as shit is a reflection on themselves, and not on my capabilities as a writer. When I realized that, their opinion lost every ounce of power it had. That power is mine again. 

Never ever underestimate the power and freedom that comes from staying true to yourself and honoring your unique contribution to the world. You were born with a purpose, and that is something that no one can take from you. 

This reminded me that I want to cheer on others when they find the courage to do something that speaks to their soul. It doesn’t matter whether I understand it or not. If they are passionate, I want to be a voice of support instead of opposition. 

My husband and I had a discussion about the nasty person I mentioned above. I said, I don’t care about losing them as a part of my life. I will be content losing every single person in my life. As long as I never lose myself again, I’m good. Which is my mantra as I get older. As long as I don’t lose myself ever again, I’m content. Because that isn’t a price I’m willing to pay to have specific people in my life. 

The best part about this is when you take that attitude, the negative people drift away and fade into the background. Because they have no power in your life. When you take control, you take away their relevance to your life. You don’t need to say goodbye or do anything dramatic. Just take away their power and relevance by being confident in yourself and your path, and not care what they think, and they’ll just sort of magically and quietly disappear from your life. 

If you need expert advice, look inward, and not toward the opinions of others. You know what is best for you because you are the only person walking in your shoes. Trust your inner voice and move forward with confidence. 

There is no such thing as a wrong decision. Either things will work out exactly as you planned, or you will learn an important lesson. You can always pivot and change directions. Whatever the outcome is, the universe will give you the best experience for the evolution of your soul, and that is exactly why you’re here. 

The interesting thing about this is when you really actually stop caring about what people think, it isn’t so much of a conscious choice. It is more of a gradual mindset shift. Which I think is the best way to go. 

I Stopped Judging Everything 

When I started practicing mindfulness, I was honestly surprised to realize how judgmental I was. This was about everything and everyone. Remember how I said earlier that we’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having it all together? Yeah, that was totally me too. 

Being judgmental is a classic sign of negative thinking, and it isn’t healthy because it turns into a vicious cycle that can sometimes feel impossible to get out of. It is like being on a burning roller coaster and deciding at the very top that you need to get off of it. 

Being judgmental is a reflection on you, and not on the person you’re judging. It is a sign of your own insecurities or ego. 

What many people don’t realize is that when you make unkind remarks or comments, that negativity you give out is sent right back to you. It is a way of creating bad karma, and blocking your own joy. 

Judgment is an ugly thing. We should all be here to love and support each other, especially as women. If all women started supporting each other instead of competing, we would literally be unstoppable! 

I Learned to Say No 

I learned to say no, say it with confidence, and not to give explanations. I didn’t need to justify saying no with some lame long-winded excuse. The answer was no, and I meant it. That’s it. 

When should you say no? Whenever something doesn’t feed your soul. Is it going to nourish your soul or suck the energy and life out of you? 

Your time is valuable, and it is time you started acting like it! If it doesn’t feed your soul, it isn’t worth your time, and you should be saying no. It will take practice, trust me. It isn’t easy when you first start doing it. 

The way you treat yourself is a reflection on how you allow others to treat you. When you start saying no and respecting your time and boundaries, you’re showing other people how to treat you. When you allow yourself to be treated like a doormat, you’re showing other people how to treat you, and it says a lot about how much or how little you respect yourself. 

You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone else, and that is incredibly empowering! Give yourself the permission to be unapologetically you. You will discover so many possibilities that open themselves up to you. 

I have also noticed over time that many conversations are opportunities to gossip or complain about others. I didn’t have anything to contribute, as that wasn’t the type of conversations I wanted to be part of. So I became a great listener. I didn’t have to constantly talk, just to be part of the group, because gossip and complaints didn’t make me feel good about myself when I spoke like that. 

I Stopped Caring About Useless Trivial Things 

When I was younger, I worried about everything, even the dumbest and smallest things. Because I didn’t have the insight and life experience that I do now. Now I really realize just how insignificant most of the stuff I worried about truly was. Everything, and I mean everything, was a big deal. This also caused a lot of anxiety. 

I would also have an emotional reaction when things didn’t go my way. The results were that life circumstances controlled me and my attitude, not the other way around. 

At this point in my life, I am tuned in to what honestly and truly matters. This is spending time with my family and my friends, my writing, my hobbies like reading, and anything else that brings me joy in my life. 

There is the old saying that you can’t control the curveballs that life throws at you, but you can control how you respond to them. When you realize you’re in charge of your attitude, energy, and emotions, you take a whole new level of control over your life, and it is incredibly powerful. 

In the past I would also allow other people to make me feel good or bad, worthy or unworthy of their affections, or even their approval. Now, I feel so much compassion for my younger self, because that is just a terrible way to live, constantly worrying about little things and how everyone else thought of me. 

I can’t imagine what I was thinking back then. Like maybe I had this crazy idea that life was just supposed to magically work out in my favor, so I let the outside world dictate my emotional state, define my worth, and tell me how to feel about myself. 

This could be a severe lack of both confidence and life experience back then, too. Confidence, happiness, and acceptance all come from within. Once I really figured this out, I stopped seeking validation, happiness, and acceptance from outside sources and started embracing that I had all of that within me. 

4 Amazing Life Changing Choices Notes 

The Big Life Questions 

• What is life trying to teach me? 
• What experiences do I wish to fill my life with? 
• How do I want to spend my valuable time? 
• What kind of relationships do I want to cultivate? 
• How am I making the lives of the people around me better? 
• How can I make a difference in my corner of the world? 
• Am I approaching life with love, understanding, and compassion? 

When I stop and think about these “big” questions, it really does impact how I approach things and respond to them within my life. It makes me think about how I respond to others. 

As I approach 40, I think about all the wisdom I’ve accumulated over the years, how much I’ve changed and grown even over just the last few years. I feel such a deep sense of gratitude for it all. I’m far less critical of myself and others. Every day that goes by, I feel more and more like my authentic self, and I am no longer apologizing for that or trying to hide it. 

There is so much more life ahead of me, more learning, and more growing. The best is yet to come! When I think about that, I am excited to see what is in store for me, because I know I haven’t reached my full potential yet, but I am absolutely on the right track to doing so. 

I know that I have the power to keep recreating myself and to write my own happy ending. This doesn’t mean life isn’t hard. But hardships and struggles don’t define me. What I learn and how I grow into my best self through those struggles is what defines me. 

When you learn the important life lessons that you’re meant to learn, you open yourself up to an unlimited world of possibilities, and I can’t think of a better way to embrace the journey of life. 

4 Amazing Life Changing Choices Discussion 

Have you made these 4 Amazing Life Changing Choices for yourself yet? Are you working on it? Is there any specific area that you’re struggling with? Would you add anything to this list? 

I want to help support you in your own journey through making these 4 Amazing Life Changing Choices. Let me know in the comments how I can help you, or simply share your own personal experiences about getting older and what you have learned! 

12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself. What does it mean to invest in yourself? Investing in yourself means that you are putting time, money, and energy into making your current life and your future life better. 

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Investing in yourself is absolutely essential. The better you feel about yourself, the more confidence you will have. That is what inspired these 12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself.

12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself 

Are you ready to start investing in yourself? Come on in and let me tell you about my favorite 12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself! 

Learn Something New 

When you learn new things, you gain more confidence. It doesn’t matter what you choose to learn, just pick something and give it a try! It doesn’t have to be huge either. Start small, and as you gain confidence, keep going. 

The best part is that you may find that you fall in love with one of the new skills and have a natural talent for it. This may turn into an opportunity to make some money or turn it into a marketable still. 

Be patient with yourself. Nobody does anything perfectly the first time, and it will likely take some practice. Don’t give up on it too soon, without giving it a chance. If you do find you dislike something, that’s great. You tried, and that is courageous. Now move onto the next thing and try something else! 

Suggestions 

• Learn a new language
• Crochet/Knit
• Basic car repairs
• First aid/CPR
• Gardening or growing indoor plants 
• Cooking 
• Photography
• Sewing
• Painting
• Coding 
• Hunting
• Beer brewing
• Juggle
• Dancing
• Yoga
• Play an instrument 
• Welding
• Soapmaking 

This is just a basic list, that I thought of off the top of my head. You don’t have to try anything off of this list if they don’t sound like fun. Think of something that you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t had the courage to do so, or let someone talk you out of, or thought was a waste of time. Those are the things you should be trying and learning to do! 

A great example of this is, I wanted to make homemade mustard when I was a child, and my mother said no, it was too hard, too time consuming, too expensive, and whatever other excuses she had to dissuade me from trying it. Last week, I made homemade mustard. You can find the recipe here. It was a huge confidence booster to do something someone told me I couldn’t do and was wasting my time trying. 

Take Online Courses 

There are a lot of options for taking courses online these days, and some are even free! There is no reason not to take an online course and learn something totally new and amazing, or brush up on some knowledge you already have. 

My favorite thing about taking an online course is the feeling of accomplishment I get when I complete it. That also inspires me to keep going and continue learning something new. What’s next? That is always my question when I’ve finished a course. 

The best part about online courses is they can be done whenever you want and at your own pace. That means that you can take just 30 minutes after the kids go to bed, if that’s when you have time. Or at 3am when you get up for a snack. It really doesn’t matter, it is all on your time and schedule. 

W3Schools is a great place to learn coding. 

DailyOM is fantastic for personal development, health, and so much more. Classes are very inexpensive, and often work on a sliding scale, meaning you choose what you want to pay for them. 

Teachable offers courses on pretty much anything you could ever want. 

Khan Academy offers courses on math, science, money management, and more. 

Read Self-Improvement Books or Blogs 

I try to read a self improvement book at least twice a year, and read blogs about it weekly. It honestly drives me, because I was raised by a textbook narcissist and I find myself wanting to focus on self improvement, because I need to break the habits from childhood that have plagued me well into being an adult. 

If you want to become the best version of yourself, focus on self improvement is essential. 

Read Books 

I love reading for pleasure, and there is no shortage of books available for low and free cost! Reading instead of mindlessly scrolling through the black hole of social media is just healthy. I love starting and ending my day with some reading. It puts me in the right mindset to both rest and wake up. Here are my favorite ways to access books: 

Library, both to borrow and purchase books. Most libraries have a store or for sale section inside, that offers good quality books for a low cost, and that helps pay for library functions, events, and community events. They also have books to borrow and even community events to go to and be part of. 

Libby is an amazing app that partners with many libraries across the country to borrow library books via Amazon and Kindle. This includes both books and audiobooks. 

Amazon offers Kindle Unlimited as a subscription where you can borrow books and read them. It is basically a paid library subscription run by Amazon. What I love about this is the ability to discover new books and new authors that I may not have tried if I had to buy the book. I like to think of it as a risk-free trial of books I wouldn’t otherwise choose. If you need a Kindle for Libby or Kindle Unlimited, this is my favorite. 

If you struggle with reading and prefer to listen to audiobooks, try out Audible. Libby also offers audiobooks to listen to for free via the library. Don’t let dyslexia stop you from reading! You just need a different format, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

Improve Your Communication Skills 

Communication skills are essential in every aspect of our lives. 

Having great communication skills not only builds your confidence, it makes you more attractive. It encourages other people to feel comfortable, heard, and safe around you, and that helps to build great relationships. 

Invest in Your Health 

If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything. Investing in your health should be a top priority. Start with building healthy habits and make them part of your daily life. 

Investing in your health doesn’t mean you need to join a gym or become a competition bodybuilder, or severely restrict your calories and never eat cake again. It is so much simpler than that. 

Eating right, making sure you eat enough and aren’t starving your body. Drink enough water throughout the day, get the proper amount of sleep necessary each night. 

Try to avoid surgery snacks, drinks, and overly processed foods. This doesn’t mean you have to cut them out entirely. But the goal would be to make them a treat instead of the normal. Focus on that part, and you should do pretty well. 

When your health is good, you feel positive and happier, and it is great for your mood. Your future self will certainly thank you for this investment. 

Travel 

Traveling is one of my favorite things to do, and I’m always ready to do more. This is easily my favorite investment, because it is a way to expose ourselves to different people, cultures, food, and create amazing experiences. 

Sometimes we also forget that there are amazing and new places close to us that we haven’t seen. Stop and think about what you are missing near you. 

Make a list of the places, both near and far, and start checking them off your list. Get out there and experience them. 

Spend Money on Experiences 

Spend money on experiences, not things. The happiness we get from buying stuff fades quickly, and far more quickly than we expect, if we’re being honest. 

When you invest and spend the money on experiences, those become memories that you take with you for a lifetime. When all is said and done, the only things we are left with that matter in life are pictures and memories. Why not make the best of them? 

Those memories and experiences become stories to share with others. Maybe you end up starting a travel blog. Or you just have really good stories to tell your kids and grandkids one day. 

Telling those stories means reliving those memories every single time you tell it. It also means time spent talking to your family and friends about it, and enjoying quality time together. You can’t get those from simply buying an object and putting it on a shelf. 

Plan Your Goals 

I love planning my goals, talking about them, and making things happen. It seriously makes me so excited. Planning both short and long-term goals is important because it will keep your life more efficient and organized. I love this planner for this reason, as there is so much room to write and keep track of everything. 

Look at your planner daily, and use it to not only simplify your life, help you create a routine, and keep pushing forward with your goals day by day. When you look at your goals in front of you every day, they are always present, and you know you’re working toward achieving those goals and where you stand with them. 

This is a huge investment in yourself! 

Invest in Your Appearance 

Investing in your appearance will both improve your comfort and make you more confident. Whenever we see a person, the first thing we notice is how they look. 

Investing in your appearance is a great way to improve your personality, because the better you feel about how you look, the more confident you are, and the more comfortable you make others to be themselves around you as well. 

Work on creating a wardrobe that you simply love and invest in clothes that are comfortable and complimentary to you. Putting effort into how you look is such a simple and effective investment in yourself. 

Invest in Developing a Routine 

A wise person said that the secret to success lies in your daily routine. I find it to be absolutely true. Developing a routine not only simplifies your day, it makes things run smoother and more efficiently, and that frees up your brain to worry and stress less. 

Developing a routine and stressing less about your day also enables you to be more consistent. Another wise person once said the only thing standing between you and your dreams is consistency. Which I also firmly believe. 

That is why developing a routine and being consistent with your time is a huge investment in yourself! 

Invest in Self Care 

Self care is essential for your physical, mental, and emotional health and well being. Take time out for yourself from your busy day and schedule some self care. 

In fact, my best advice is to schedule it! Yes, write it down in your planner, and think of it as an appointment with yourself. I linked to my favorite planner earlier, and I schedule my self-care just like I do my blog posts, my doctor appointments, and my bills. Then I write it down, so I know I did it. 

If you struggle with making time for yourself, I highly recommend that you schedule it and put it in your planner. That way you know you need to do it, if you’ve done it, and it is hard to ignore when it is right there in black and white. 

It doesn’t need to be anything huge either. Don’t think of it as needing to be a huge time commitment that you don’t have. It can be meditation in the morning, making sure you take enough breaks when working, enjoying a hobby, or even skin care each night before bed. Maybe you turn your phone off for 30 minutes, go for a drive, and crank your favorite music to full volume. It can be whatever you want that is taking care of yourself. Just be sure you do it! That is the big thing. Don’t ignore it or allow your self care to be put on the back burner for a later time. 

12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself Notes 

12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself are my favorite things to do to invest in yourself. Investing in yourself pays the best interest, so why not? You develop a better relationship with yourself, you get to know yourself and it encourages you to strive to become your best self, meet all your goals, and be much happier. 

Investing in yourself really is the best investment that you can make! That is really what inspired me to create this list and encourage every woman to really take the time and effort to invest in themselves. 

I have found I am so passionate about personal growth and development that I want to see every woman unlock their full potential. You have the power to become the most amazing and unstoppable version of yourself that you can, and investing in yourself is an amazing first step to getting started on that journey! 

I also think of investing in myself the same way I do prepping. It is something I can control, add to anytime I want. It is like an ongoing insurance policy that I am writing, I’m in charge of, and I can change or contribute to anytime I want. It keeps my success in my hands, and I want the same thing for you! Because you can absolutely have that and create that same thing for yourself. 

If you aren’t already taking these steps, are you ready to start? If you are, let me know in the comments! I want to hear about your journey toward investing in yourself and where it has taken you. 

12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself Discussion 

Have you found these 12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself to be helpful? What is your favorite way to invest in yourself? Do you make it a point to invest in yourself? Or is this something you struggle with and put on the back burner to come back to another time and don’t? 

Do you have any advice to add to this list? I would love to hear your thoughts! Let me know about them in the comments! I want to know what you would add to these 12 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself.

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8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life are simple things you can do to change your life in just one year. Yes, you are completely capable of changing your life! Are you ready to do that? 

Personal development has been a huge focus in my life over the last year, and that is what inspired me to write this. Because I wasn’t reaching my goals, and I was angry with myself because I felt like I had failed. When I wasn’t reaching my goals, I took a long hard look at why, and realized that I needed to change both my mindset and my habits to move forward in reaching my goals. 

It turned out to be a life changing year! When I started implementing these 8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life, I started to notice a huge difference. It wasn’t always overnight, but it really has made a difference in both who I am and how successful I am. I wanted to be the best woman that I could be, and I needed this roadmap to find that capability. 

Are you ready to take that same journey for yourself? Let’s go! Here are my favorite 8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life. 

8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life 

Stop Complaining 

Appreciate how lucky you are every day. 

Start looking for a red truck in traffic on your morning commute today. Notice how many times you can find one. Tomorrow morning you’ll notice them again without thinking about it. Pretty soon the only thing you’ll be noticing in traffic are red trucks. 

What you focus on is exactly what you’ll start seeing. When you focus on the negatives through complaining, that is all you’re going to see. When you see positives, that’s what you’ll start noticing as well. Why not focus on the positive instead of the negative? It is a lot nicer when you see what is good instead of what is bad. Because you are far more blessed, successful, lucky, happy, and any other positive word you can think of, than you may realize. 

Embrace Loneliness 

Embrace it and reinvent yourself in the process. Sometimes you just have to disappear for a while and come back as a completely different person. 

You don’t need an audience, applause, or approval to be the best. Disappear, reinvent yourself quietly, and come back bigger and better than ever. So much so that people don’t recognize you. 

Not everyone wants to see you succeed. That’s just a fact of life, and it may come from much closer to home than you would imagine. 

Haters will always be there. But if you embrace loneliness, you won’t see or hear them. They can’t boo your success or cheer your failures because you’ve disappeared and they don’t know what you’re up to either way. That’s exactly what you want! Do things quietly, and move with stealth. You become so much more powerful this way. 

Say Goodbye 

Say goodbye to people that don’t bring positive energy into your life. Take the time to notice how people make you feel. Do they breathe life into you, or suck out all your energy? Take notice of this. Then start removing the people who suck all your time and energy. It is a waste of your time. You want people in your life who not only support you and your goals, but challenge you to do better, to commit to a goal and start making it happen. 

I called myself dumb the other day because of a mistake I made in one of my blogs and I was annoyed. My favorite person on the planet ripped me apart for speaking about myself in such a negative way, reminding me that I still solved the problem and I’m more than capable of doing so. It was simply a problem that I hadn’t come across before, and I had to figure it out. 

Another friend asks me about my goals, and always wants me to set goals to work on today. Specific goals, not just far-off future goals. This person literally says, set this goal and let’s talk about it on a certain day, and we do just that. They call and follow through with that commitment to talk about it when they said they would. 

You need people just like these two friends I have in my life. The ones who see the best in you, and also challenge you to do better, who truly want to see you be your best self and achieve the greatness you were meant to. It is time to start saying goodbye to people who aren’t like that. Trust me, you’ll find you appreciate the ones who do, and you have a lot more time and energy to devote to your goals. 

Turn off the TV 

Turn off the tv, set internet controls, and ignore social media. Don’t get lost in a black hole. 

TV can be a great way to zone out and recharge yourself when necessary. But don’t get so lost in it that you aren’t doing anything productive. 

Internet controls can help you set a schedule, and keep you on track as well. I like to think of it as a timer or an alarm clock that reminds you when it is time to stop and refocus. 

Social media is a black hole, and you can easily get lost in a negative feed or comment thread, and it really is exhausting. Stay away from things like that, because you can start reading a thread just to check out the comments, and somehow an hour is lost on nothing. 

I elect to read instead. This can be a simple fictional novel to entertain me, a self-help book to teach me a new skill or way of looking at things, or a short story instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media. 

Develop a Skill 

Pick one skill you want to cultivate, and put all of your effort into developing and improving it. What you focus on grows! What do you want to focus on? I love learning new skills, and also learning new ways to improve myself. 

Once you feel you’re good at a specific skill and have mastered it, move on to the next one, and just keep going. Keep pushing forward, developing new skills every single day, and pretty soon you’ll have more skills than you realized you ever could have. Developing new skills is a huge way to build your confidence and remind yourself just how capable you really are. 

I’m going to try making bread later this week, for example. It always seems complicated, but I want to try it out and work on that specific skill, because I love new recipes, but that doesn’t mean I know everything. There are still areas I can work on. 

Commit to Your Goals 

Once you set a goal, say no to everything that doesn’t serve that goal, and don’t look back. 

Pick a big goal, like looking at life a year from now. What do you want to achieve in the next year? Now take that big goal and break it down by month. What do you need to do every single month to achieve that goal? What do you need to do every week to achieve your monthly goal? Next is every day. What do you need to do to achieve your weekly goal each and every day of that week?

Make a list and write it all down, then start checking things off this list every time you finish a task. There is something incredibly satisfying about checking something off of your list, and it will go a long way in keeping the momentum going of striving to reach your goals. 

Now commit to doing these things daily, weekly, and monthly, until you reach not only a year, but reach your goal! Big goals are nothing more than a series of smaller goals broken down into manageable tasks to get the job done and doing that consistently. Consistency is key. 

Then celebrate every single win and success. Success isn’t just the big goal. It is the commitment to consistency, and every small goal you achieve on the way to the big goal. Don’t be afraid to celebrate the small wins just as much as the big ones. 

Sweat Every Day 

Exercise will help to boost your mood, reduce depression and anxiety, burn calories, and also is just good for your overall health. 

You don’t need to join a gym or become a marathon runner next week. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Go for a simple 30 minute walk around your neighborhood to get some fresh air, sunshine, your blood moving, and your heart pounding. That’s all it takes. 

Fail Forward 

Learn from every mistake you make. If you learn and grow from failure, it really isn’t failure. It is a learning experience. Pick yourself up and try again. You know what the difference between success and failure is? How many times you refused to give up and tried again. 

Mistakes, failures, having to re-do something, and trying again are all part of the experience. It’s going to happen, no matter what. Nobody is perfect the first time around. A competition body builder didn’t walk into a gym and bench press 250 pounds the first time. Everything takes time, practice, mistakes, and consistency. 

Don’t be afraid of mistakes or failures. Pick yourself up, try again, and keep doing it. Practice makes perfect. Just don’t give up. Ever. 

8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life Notes 

I truly hope that this roadmap is as life changing for you as it was for me. I learned so much about myself, my capabilities, my goals, and my strengths. I honestly wasn’t prepared for just how much I learned and grew from these simple changes. 

It wasn’t an overnight thing, as I said earlier. But it is really inspiring and empowering to realize just how much a year can change you. In a mere 365 days, you will not be the same person. 

8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life Discussion 

Have these 8 Amazing Ways to Change Your Life helped you to start improving yourself and your life? Is there any specific area that you need to be paying attention to and working on? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

10 Great Ways to Take Your Power Back. You are so completely powerful. I think it can be far too easy to forget this fact. But it is absolutely true. I want you to realize just how powerful and unstoppable that you are, and see you live your life exactly that way. 

Oftentimes it is easy, especially in the days of social media and constant movement, to absorb negative energy, negative messages, and so much more that subtlety starts to influence who we are and how we act. Think of it like water running over a rock continuously. You don’t see the rock change shape. It just happens quietly over time until the rock is a completely different shape. This kind of change happens with people too, when we absorb all the negative energy and messages we see each and every day. We don’t realize it is happening until we are a completely different person. 

If you’ve ever suffered abuse or trauma, especially as a child, this is even more true. Because you likely haven’t ever been given the opportunity to reach your true potential and understand just how powerful you are. But that power exists inside you, and it is time to take it back and become unstoppable. That is why I created these 10 great ways to take your power back.

Are you ready to go on the journey through these 10 great ways to take your power back with me? You owe it to yourself! Let’s go! 

10 Great Ways to Take Your Power Back 

Know Your Value 

You don’t need to wait around for someone else to decide your worth. Because you will always be disappointed. Stand up for yourself! Nobody gets to treat you like crap. If a situation isn’t healthy for you, it is time to walk away. When you know your value, it is easy to see when others don’t see your value. You’ll learn how to say no to those people and their energy. 

Tell yourself that you are beautiful, that you are worthy, that you deserve great things. What you believe and tell yourself is exactly what you will become. You need to be showing yourself love instead of negativity. Be your own cheerleader by knowing your value and reminding yourself of that as often as you need to until it starts to become your truth. 

How you feel about yourself is how others will feel about you. So it is time to decide who you are and how you want to be treated, then say no to everything that isn’t that. Don’t let others make those choices for you. You know your value, and it is time to set those boundaries to align with your value. 

Avoid Negative Self-Talk 

A wise person once told me that the biggest muscle in our bodies is our brain. Do not put yourself down or speak negatively about yourself, even if you are joking. The more you say negative things to yourself, the more you believe them and that becomes your truth. 

When you love yourself and speak positively about yourself, that also becomes your truth. That is how you take your power back. That is setting the standard for how others treat you and talk to you. Be in control of your own narrative. 

If you are struggling with this, I have found talking to myself works. I literally tell myself to stop saying things that are negative because they are not productive thoughts. I deserve better, and so do you. You can talk to yourself and remind yourself that negative self-talk isn’t the way to go, and it needs to end. 

When you find yourself being self-critical, you can also list three things you like about yourself. It doesn’t matter what they are. Something about your looks, eye color, smile, or whatever else you like about yourself. Think about other things as well that you like about yourself. You’re smart, talented at something specific like photography, or your work ethic and earning a new promotion. Chances are you’ll find you like a lot more about yourself and are proud of those things than you realize. 

Forgive 

There is a serious power in forgiveness. 

You need to forgive yourself for past mistakes. You can’t go back and change them, and you know that. Dwelling on those and feeling regret isn’t healthy or productive. What you can do is learn from them and grow. Holding a grudge against yourself for past mistakes is living in the past. That takes away from the present, and that isn’t fair to you. It is time to forgive yourself and keep moving forward. 

You also need to forgive others. Forgiveness isn’t for whoever wronged you. It is for you. It is allowing yourself to move on from that hurt. This doesn’t mean you need to allow whoever it is back in your life. It just means you’ve decided that hurt is no longer worth your time and energy. 

Harboring negative energy will do nothing but poison your life, and you deserve so much more. One of my favorite quotes is, “if you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.” 

Do you need to forgive someone in your life? Make a list in your journal of who needs forgiveness from you and why. 

Don’t Worry About the Past 

This is a waste of your energy. You can’t change the past, nor can you live in it. You are not your mistakes. Repeat that one with me, “I am not my mistakes.” Remind yourself of this daily if necessary, until you believe it. Mistakes are just one component of who you are, not the sum of who you are as a person. Don’t let your mistakes define who you are, because you are better than that. 

Everybody makes mistakes, and focusing on those hinders your growth, is negative, and doesn’t allow you to love yourself fully. I know that it is easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism. If you’re struggling with this, go back to the avoiding negative self-talk section, because that is exactly what is happening when you focus on the past instead of moving on from it. 

I used to rush to defend myself against false accusations but now I watch to see who believes it, so I know who to cut off first. Those mistakes or accusations are often great examples of how other people live in the past and talk about the person I once was. Oftentimes without ever asking my side of the story, and I felt the need to give it. I no longer feel that way because the past is behind me, and that is where I leave it. If you need to cut people off, do it. 

Establish Healthy Boundaries 

Learn to say no and start doing it more often! If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You said no, and no means no. That’s it. 

If someone makes you upset, don’t spend time with them. Pay attention to how you feel when you spend time with people. Do they uplift you or do they suck the life out of you with their negative energy? Once you start paying attention to that, it will be really easy to see who deserves your time and energy and who doesn’t. 

I made a friend not too long ago, and she seemed great at first. But the more time I spent with her, the more I realized how bad of an idea that was, and it was because she was so negative. She reminded me of me from about ten years ago, and that is someone I’ve worked very hard to stop being. It was easy to see why it wasn’t healthy to spend time with this friend, and I slowly just stopped reaching out to her and let her fade from my life. She wasn’t helping me grow into a better person. 

Use the Do Not Disturb function on your phone more often. 

When you set healthy boundaries in your life, it likely will not matter to most people. But there will be a few who get upset. Keep in mind that the only people who will be upset by you setting boundaries are the ones who benefitted from you having none. 

Once you set boundaries, the people who are upset will slowly cease to be part of your life, and that is an amazing thing. It is such a natural and simple process, watching them fade from your life. Let it happen. Don’t ever fear this happening. 

Say Fuck It More Often 

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it, it is what it is, and move on. I know this is blunt, and I’m not normally that blunt. But I also think it is necessary in some circumstances, and that allows you to see that it is what it is and there is nothing you can do about it. 

Stop worrying about stupid and insignificant things. Instead just say, fuck it, and keep moving forward. Relax and just let it go. When you realize things aren’t worth your time and energy, you’ll notice yourself saying fuck it and how easy it becomes. 

This is such a positive mindshift, to be able to realize that quickly and just move on without letting it hinder you. 

Stop Complaining 

I still have moments where I will start complaining about everything going on, and I have to stop myself because I will become completely focused on negative things. All that complaining does is allow you to focus on the negative things in life. Nobody is perfect, and there will be times that you aren’t going to be happy. It is life. 

However, complaining constantly will get you nowhere. How can you be happy when you’re busy complaining about everything? You can’t be. It is just that simple. 

If you find yourself being consumed by complaining, it is time to make a change. Either start fixing the things you’re complaining about, or start focusing on gratitude because you likely are not thankful for everything you actually have. You pick which one fits the best for you and your situation. 

I once read about someone who had a habit of getting upset at simple things like someone in traffic cutting them off, or honking if they didn’t move fast enough when their red light turned green. Normally when you get upset at things like that, the temptation would be to flip them off, yell, swear, or even cut them off and brake test them, then think about what a jerk they were for quite some time. These are all normal but unhealthy responses. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Instead this person shifted to automatically listing off three things she was grateful for when she started to get mad or complain about things like this. 

What this did was shift her focus from the negative interaction she had with another driver to thinking about something far more positive. That removed the focus from the bad driver in traffic and back to her and her life. 

I thought this was interesting when I first heard about it. Like, thinking about gratitude after some jerk cuts you off in traffic sounds weird, right? But seriously, give it a try! Because I will tell you that it works. Focus on the positive instead of the negative, and it becomes much easier to see the positives all the time. 

Decide What You Want 

Decide what you want, stop complaining about things, and get to work to make it happen. Your happiness depends on this. 

When you decide what you want, you’re taking control of your own life, your own happiness, and that is taking your power back. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. Decide what you want, who you want to be, and start showing up for yourself each and every day. 

If you’re thinking what you want is too big to actually accomplish, then start breaking that big thing down into smaller steps. If you want something in a year from now, you need to map out monthly, weekly, and daily steps to start taking to get there. 

Ignore the Opinions of Others 

Remember the part earlier about saying fuck it? Refer back to that if you’re struggling to ignore the opinions of others. Who actually cares what other people think? One of my favorite quotes is, “we’re all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their shit together.” I love it because it is so completely true. 

When I think about that, it makes me remember and note the opinions that actually do matter to me. If it helps you, make a list of the opinions you truly care about. That way you don’t forget. Also, if you aren’t willing to ask someone for advice, you shouldn’t be willing to hear their opinion. That is a sign it doesn’t matter. 

Don’t let what people think about you torture you, or mold who you are. You are you for a reason, you have a purpose, and no one can take that from you unless you let them. 

Never Apologize for Being You 

Never ever apologize for being you, for growing, for learning, or anything else. You are who you are, and that is exactly who you need to be! There is nothing to apologize for. 

You are amazing, you are strong, you are a badass woman who is powerful and can do anything. I believe it. Do you? Because you should! You should believe it, and you should not apologize for it. 

10 Great Ways to Take Your Power Back Notes 

When you recognize just how powerful you are through these 10 great steps to take your power back, you become unstoppable. Which is exactly why I created these 10 great ways to take your power back. I want you to realize your power, your greatness, and be the best version of yourself because you deserve to live your life that way. 

Shifting these mindsets isn’t always easy, so be prepared for setbacks, bad days, and challenges. Just because you experience these things doesn’t mean you should stop practicing them or the 10 great ways to take your power back! You owe it to yourself to become the most unstoppable, confident, badass woman that you can be. When you have your power, you have a purpose that no one can ever take away from you. 

Live that power and purpose each and every single day, and you can accomplish anything and everything that you put your mind to through these 10 great ways to take your power back. You can do this! 

10 Great Ways to Take Your Power Back Discussion 

Have these 10 great ways to take your power back helped you in any way? Is there a specific area that you need to focus on more than the others? Are you wanting to start the journey of taking back your power and becoming unstoppable? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! I would love to support you in your journey through these 10 great ways to take your power back.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you have insanely high standards that you are spending your life trying to reach and failing miserably? Are you feeling burnt out trying to reach those standards? Do your relationships suffer because of your perfectionism? 

If you answered yes to these questions, you are a perfectionist. Which is dangerous to your mental health and wellbeing. It can cause depression, anxiety, and even lead to eating disorders. 

Here’s the thing. Nobody in the world is perfect, including you, including me, and including anyone else who looks like they have it all together. Nobody does. One of my favorite quotes is, “we are all being judged by someone who isn’t even close to having their shit together.” Because it is so true. 

Here are my favorite 7 ways to stop being a perfectionist.

Traits of a Perfectionist 

• Setting unattainable goals. 
• Criticism. 
• Obsessive thinking and reassurance-seeking. 
• Over Identification with achievements. 

10 Ways Perfectionists Self-Sabotage 

• Overwork and can’t relax until everything is done. 
• Criticize themselves for even the smallest mistakes. 
• Think in absolutes (all or nothing, black and white) 
• Stress themselves and others with unrealistic expectations. 
• Don’t ask for or accept help. 
• Procrastinate. 
• Afraid of trying new things. 
• Overthink things. 
• Waste time re-doing or perfecting unimportant tasks. 
• Notice what everyone is doing wrong. 

7 Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist

Appreciate the Process 

It isn’t just about the end result. Divide your attention between both the journey and the end result, and appreciate both aspects. 

Part of life is the journey, not just the destination. Take the time to really enjoy the journey and learn from that, not just focus on the destination. When you ignore the journey, you are missing out on so many things. You owe it to yourself to slow down and enjoy the ride. 

Think about going on a drive. My favorite is going up to a huge waterfall about forty five minutes outside of town. The drive and views of the river that this waterfall feeds are simply gorgeous. If you think about the end destination, you’ll miss out on the beauty of the drive. There is so much more to see than the end destination. Pay attention to the views during the drive. 

Stop Comparing Yourself 

Take the power away from everyone else and give it back to yourself! Create your own version of perfection, and strive for that. 

Comparison is the thief of joy. Your journey is yours, and yours alone. Your journey doesn’t look like mine, or anyone else’s for that matter. The only person you should be competing with in life is yourself, and the only reason to compete with yourself is to keep improving. Don’t compare your journey with anyone else’s and try to compete with them. 

Mess Up on Purpose 

Being a perfectionist, you always worry about messing things up and failing miserably to reach your perfect standards. Try the opposite. 

Once you’ve done this, stop and take a look around. What actually happened? Did your worst fear come true? Did anything happen? Was it a positive experience you learned from? Oftentimes we think the worst will happen when we mess up. Stop and put the experience in perspective by seeing what actually happens versus what you expect to happen. 

I will tell you that when I’m developing a new recipe, I screw it up often. This used to bug me, because I expected to develop the perfect recipe the first time every time. Once I let go of that need to be perfect and instead decided to just keep working at it, developing recipes with my husband became a lot more fun. It really changed how I view this specific blog and the work I put into it. Now I don’t care if I have to make a recipe seven different times to be what I deem perfect. 

Play It Out 

Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? If your kitchen isn’t spotless, for example, what is actually going to happen? Is the world going to end? Will your husband disown you because of it? Will your friends never stop by to visit again? What will actually happen? 

Focus on the reality of what the worst that can actually happen is. Not just what you imagine that is based on your insanely high standards. 

Become Friends with Good Enough 

There are some days that good enough really is enough. In fact, it is plenty. Think about this: the kitchen may be dirty, but the kids and the dog are all fed with a nutritious meal, and the house didn’t burn down, and you spent time with your family. Some days, that is good enough, and that is perfect. 

Oftentimes it is easy to push aside time with the people we love because we are busy trying to live up to our own impossible standards. Time spent with family is far more important than the constant appearance of a spotless kitchen! 

When you can become friends with good enough, I promise that you’ll notice that good enough really is plenty, because your mindset starts to shift away from useless things to the real and truly important things in life. 

Gain Perspective 

Is what you’re beating yourself up about right now going to matter tomorrow? Next month? Next year? Five years from now? Be honest with yourself. 

I would guess that the answer is likely a definite no here. Stop and think about what actually matters and what does not matter. Write it down and make a list if it helps. When you write out a list, you can easily see the answers in black and white, and gain a new perspective. 

Create Realistic Goals and Expectations 

Create your own definition of perfection, one that you can actually strive for AND reach. The biggest problem with being a perfectionist is that it is impossible to reach your goals. You can’t celebrate accomplishing anything because it isn’t an attainable goal. 

You deserve to celebrate your accomplishments every single day of your life! Yes, you. You deserve that! 

It is perfectly okay to have big goals. Pick one big goal for yourself. What is that? Now that you have that, break that down into yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily goals for yourself that you absolutely can accomplish. If you can’t accomplish it without feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, you haven’t broken your goal down into manageable steps yet, and it is time to reevaluate. 

It is always wonderful to have a big picture or goals. There is nothing wrong with that. But what perfectionists tend to forget is that the big picture is a series of smaller pictures that make up the big picture. Make sure your small pictures are vivid and bright, so they can create an amazing big picture. 

7 Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist Notes 

Here’s the problem with being a perfectionist. It is both overwhelming and exhausting. Seriously, when you take these steps to stop this behavior and way of thinking, you’ll wonder how you ever managed to make it as long as you did before taking control of your life. 

Life shouldn’t be taken too seriously. You’re not getting out of it alive anyway. Why waste so much time striving for perfection when perfection is literally impossible? You lose out on so many joyful moments and learning experiences when you’re so busy beating yourself up over unrealistic goals you can’t achieve. Slow down and enjoy the journey. 

I realize this is all much easier said than done! Trust me, I know, because I was once a perfectionist. Changing that way of thinking isn’t easy. But it is absolutely worth doing! Because you’ll find that you have so much more energy for the people and things that really do matter in your life, and things become a lot easier when there is less anxiety. 

I personally found that my relationships were a lot easier when I wasn’t a perfectionist, because I wasn’t busy criticizing myself or the other person, and I wasn’t overthinking the smallest things. It became a lot easier to really enjoy and appreciate those relationships. I also wasn’t adding extra stress to those around me. 

If you are a perfectionist and taking the steps toward working on shifting that mindset, first off, congrats! I hope these 7 ways to stop being a perfectionist are helping you. You should be proud of yourself for that alone. Also be kind and patient with yourself as you work toward setting realistic goals for yourself and shifting that mindset from perfect to realistic. It isn’t an overnight process, but that certainly doesn’t mean it is impossible either. Keep pushing forward, even when you have setbacks, and be mindful of when those old habits start to set in again. Old habits die hard, and I understand that. 

It really does take a lot of patience and loving yourself for this to become your new normal. You can do it, trust me though. Because you owe it to yourself! I found that this shift toward abandoning my perfectionist mindset was a form of self-care. Because I wanted to take care of myself and live a healthy and happy life. 

7 Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist Discussion 

Are you a perfectionist working toward shifting your mindset? Have these 7 ways to stop being a perfectionist helped you in any way? Are there specific areas on this list that you need to focus more on? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

10 simple ways to show up for yourself is a list I created because it is essential to make yourself a priority in your own life. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself, and that starts right here with you. 

Showing up for yourself is a choice that you make each and every day. Do you do it, or do you ignore your needs and put them on the back burner? Come on in and let me show you my 10 simple ways to show up for yourself.

What does it mean to show up for yourself? 

Many people talk about showing up for yourself and how important that it is. But what does that really mean? The short answer is that it means to believe in yourself. But it also means being patient with yourself, showing yourself both grace and kindness, especially when you are having a bad day. 

It means being respectful enough to have boundaries, not taking on more than you can handle, and acknowledging that you are more than capable of achieving your dreams and goals. 

Think about how you treat your family and friends. Do you show yourself the same level of kindness, respect, love, and loyalty? They matter to you, right? Of course they do. But you matter too! 

10 simple ways to show up for yourself allows you to flourish and thrive, which is something everyone deserves to do, and you are no different. You can survive without showing up for yourself, sure. But why just survive when you can thrive? You owe it to yourself to create a life to thrive in. Being your own cheerleader instead of your own critic is showing up for yourself. 

As women, it is an inherent trait to wear many hats and be there for everyone else. This can range from kids, aging parents, husband, boss, co-workers, friends, and everyone in between. It is easy to feel like we are required to show up for all of these people in our lives, and put ourselves on the back burner. It is easy to deem showing up for ourselves as selfish and silly or even a luxury. 

But here’s the deal. You can’t burn a candle at both ends or pour from an empty cup. There’s a reason when you’re on an airplane that the emergency instructions tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before you even consider helping anyone else. Why? You have to take care of yourself first. 

Showing up for yourself means you take care of yourself and you believe in yourself! 

Are you ready to start showing up for yourself? Here are my 10 simple ways to show up for yourself! Let’s go! 

10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself

Commit to habits, practices, routines, and rituals that are good for your well-being 

Even when you don’t want to! I firmly believe that it is more important than ever to make this a priority when you don’t want to. 

When you don’t have a routine or stick to one you’ve developed, everyday tasks seem overwhelming and impossible to accomplish. Having a routine keeps you on track both physically and mentally. 

Benefits of a routine: 

• Better mental health
• Less frequent illness 
• Less stress
• Better overall health 
• Higher productivity 
• A more meaningful life 

Allow yourself to feel any and all feelings without labeling them as wrong, bad, or negative 

Your feelings are completely valid! Acknowledge that they are there, they are real, and that is how you’re feeling in the moment. Nothing more, no labels, no telling yourself you shouldn’t feel that way, or anything else. 

Validate your feelings by acknowledging them and allowing them to happen. That way you can move on from them when you are done. 

I have found that when I acknowledge and allow my feelings to happen, it is much easier to move on from them when I am done. Because I’m not spending more time than necessary trying to convince myself that I shouldn’t feel that way. 

Being more aware of your emotions allows you to: 

• Know yourself better
• Feel better about thing and cope in healthier ways 
• Be less self-critical 
• Pause instead of reacting to difficult emotions 
• Decide how to handle situations 
• Get along better with others 

How to practice being more aware of your feelings and emotions: 

• Notice and name your feelings. Name one feeling you experience on any given day as they happen, it can be anger, joy, proud, anxious, or whatever else you may be feeling. 
• Track one emotion. Pick one of the emotions that you listed earlier, and track it throughout the day. Notice how often you feel that specific emotion and make a note of it. You can also write them down if it will help you. 
• Learn new words for feelings. How many words can you name for anger? Try to think of some more, like outrage, hostility, irritation, annoyed, and so on. Or pick happiness, and think joy, fun, smiling, and keep going. 
• Keep a feelings journal. Take a few minutes each day to write about how you feel and why. Writing about your feelings lets you get to know them and yourself better. When you understand your emotions, you can handle them and express them in a much healthier way. 
• Notice feelings in art, songs, and movies. Focus on what the artist, writer, or director did to show those feelings. How did you feel in response? 

Practice listening to your needs and discovering different ways of meeting those needs 

If you came from any kind of abusive background, like in childhood or a relationship, this is a difficult task! Because you are accustomed to having your needs both shamed and ignored. Or you had to adapt to the wants and expectations of a controlling parent just to survive. What happens is that over time, rather than be disappointed or shamed for not having our needs met, we just tune them out completely. 

This hinders healthy relationships because we can’t stop ourselves from sacrificing our needs and wants in a relationship. This turns into resentment and the relationship is unable to grow and continue. 

When you pay attention to your own needs and make meeting them a priority, you are able to evaluate yourself and your life at any given moment. If you don’t value your needs, you won’t be able to meet them. Repeat that one with me. If you don’t value your needs, you won’t be able to meet them. 

Identifying and meeting your needs 

Emotional 

• What am I feeling? 
• What caused these feelings? 
• What do I want to do about these feelings? 
• Is there another way I can view the situation? 
• How can I cope with these emotions in a healthy way? 

Physical 

• Am I hungry? Thirsty? Sleepy? Too hot or cold? Uncomfortable? In pain? How can I resolve that? 
• Am I getting enough nutrients, sleep, water, exercise, sunlight? How can I make sure I am getting enough of these things for my body? 

Social 

• Am I satisfied with my current relationship? 
• Is there anything I want to change? 
• How do I feel when I’m with other people? 
• Do I have enough support right now? If not, what can I do to grow my support network? 

Personal 

• What do I value? What brings me satisfaction, pleasure, or meaning in life? 
• How can I incorporate more of that into my life? 
• Ask yourself these questions to help you identify your needs, then start brainstorming solutions. 

Practice self-forgiveness

Forgive yourself for not being perfect, for forgetting, for the past, for things you don’t know, for overthinking, for not saying no when you needed to, or for simply getting “off track” at times. 

We all go through bad days and bad times where we struggle to be the ideal and perfect person. Humans are messy! Relationships are messy. Emotions are messy. It is okay to be messy and not perfect. You don’t need to beat yourself up for doing so. Embrace imperfections by practicing self-forgiveness. 

Focus on being better tomorrow. Every single day we all have the chance to start fresh when we wake up and be better. Forgive yourself for today, learn from it, and strive for a better tomorrow. Remember that it is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it. Mistakes and life lessons are two completely different things. 

Give yourself permission to start over again 

Start over again as often as you need to! Think about this, when babies are learning to walk, we praise them repeatedly for getting back up and trying again. Why don’t we do that for ourselves as adults? It is something that we should be doing daily for ourselves. 

Why do we focus on failure instead of getting back up and starting again? Why do we put such high expectations on doing it right the first time? It is time to ditch the all or nothing perfection theme! 

It is time to start getting back up and starting over! Every single time you need to start over, do it. You don’t need to apologize for it either, just keep getting back up and starting over. 

Tell yourself that you can! Banish the word can’t from your vocabulary. You are more capable than you know! If you have to start over to be successful, do it, and keep doing it. 

Take care of your basic needs 

This includes getting enough sleep, staying healthy, hydrated, and exercising consistently. 

I talked about identifying your needs earlier, now it is time to make it a point to meet your specific needs and not simply ignore them. 

If you need to, write out a list of your needs so you know exactly what they are. One of my most basic needs that I tend to forget or ignore is eating. This happens often when I sit down at my desk to work. I’m so focused on my writing that I ignore the most basic need, which is to eat and let my body keep its strength to keep me going all day. 

Give yourself permission to rest 

It is perfectly okay to take a break! Take the down time and relax, take care of yourself, and do whatever you need to for relaxation and peace. It isn’t doing nothing. It is doing exactly what you need to be doing for your health and happiness. 

I think it is far too easy to place value on being busy just being busy. Being busy doesn’t always mean being productive. It means being busy. We often view slowing down and resting as lazy, not productive, or even selfish, and it is easy to feel guilty about it. You should never ever allow yourself to feel guilty for resting. It is absolutely necessary for your health! 

What is something you enjoy doing that settles your brain? For me that is often crocheting. It is something to do with my hands, and it settles my brain and I feel calm. I can do it while watching tv, and it is relaxing. Find something that you can do to achieve the same goal, to settle your brain, find a calmness in it, and relax. 

Spend quality time with yourself 

Read, write, create, and get to know who you are past who you think you should be. 

Spending time with yourself gives you a chance to not only get to know yourself and who you are when no one else is around, but to be comfortable in your own skin as well. It is also an opportunity to focus on your mental health. The more you know and understand yourself, the more likely you are to do things you love, learn and try new things that interest you, and grow. 

I think of my alone time as a form of self-care. 

If you are naturally an introvert, this alone time is even more essential than it may be for others. It allows you to recharge your social, battery, self-reflect, and process experiences. Without this alone time, an introvert will start to experience irritability, fatigue, poor sleep, and trouble concentrating. 

View yourself through a lens of curiosity and compassion 

You are a work in progress and should be evolving and growing. Compassion for yourself means being warm and understanding toward yourself when you fail or feel inadequate instead of ignoring the pain or becoming self-critical. 

Curiosity is wanting to learn more about yourself, why you do certain things, and to understand who you are. 

Here are my favorite affirmations to repeat to myself instead of criticisms. 

Self-Compassion Affirmations 

• I accept the best and worst aspects of who I am. 
• Changing is never simple, but it is easier if I stop being hard on myself. 
• My mistakes just show that I’m growing and learning. 
• It is okay to make mistakes and forgive myself. 
• I am free to let go of others’ judgments. 
• It is safe for me to show kindness to myself. 
• I deserve compassion, tenderness, and empathy from myself. 
• I release myself with forgiveness from today and move forward with self-love tomorrow. 
• Every day is a new opportunity. I won’t let self-doubt or judgment hold me back from the future. 
• I forgive myself and accept my flaws because nobody is perfect. 
• I am not the first person to have felt this way, and I won’t be the last, but I am growing. 

Make yourself a priority in your own life

Remind yourself that you are as worthy of being shown up for as anyone else in life. Make yourself a priority in your own life. Know that you are enough, and appreciate how far you’ve come in your personal growth and success. 

Always take time for yourself, and know that it isn’t selfish, it isn’t lazy, it isn’t anything negative. It is essential. Making yourself a priority in your own life is absolutely essential, and should be treated as such. 

10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself Notes 

If you’ve read all the way through my 10 simple ways to show up for yourself, then you are obviously committed to showing up for yourself and taking actionable steps to doing so each and every day. I am proud of you, and you should be equally proud of yourself! 

There is no need to change who you are to fit in with someone else’s idea of perfection. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself, and you do just that by showing up for yourself every day. You are enough! 

When you use these 10 simple ways to show up for yourself, you become unstoppable and you absolutely deserve to do so! Push yourself to be the best, so you can achieve your dreams and goals and be the best version of yourself that you can be. 

10 simple ways to show up for yourself every day is not only a form of self-care, it is a way you show yourself both love and respect. 

10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself Discussion 

Has this list of 10 simple ways to show up for yourself helped you? Are there areas that need your attention more than others? Is this something you struggle with? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

20 Ways to Stop Overthinking are my tips to help you! Do you overthink things? I know that I do, and I’m pretty darn good at it. I have a crown to prove it, too. Well, maybe not a crown. I’m more of a tiara kind of person. But you still get the idea. 

If you are an overthinker, you’ll want to read this! Overthinking is an unhealthy habit to have, and I’m here to help you break that habit. Overthinking is caused by a variety of things like fear, intolerance to uncertainty, trauma and abuse, anxiety, and perfectionism. 

Overthinking can take a serious toll on relationships because it is so easy to assume the worst and jump to conclusions. This can lead to arguments and unnecessary conflicts with people you care about. This can lead to behaviors like constantly needing reassurance or attempting to control other people. These kinds of things are harmful to healthy relationships and can turn them into toxic relationships. 

Overthinking can create an endless cycle of worry and stress. This can cause you to feel less prepared, motivated, and confident. 

Signs that you’re overthinking 

• An inability to think about anything else 
• Being unable to relax
• Constantly feeling worried or anxious 
• Fixating on things outside of your control 
• Feeling mentally exhausted 
• Having lots of negative thoughts 
• Replaying a situation or experience over and over in your mind 
• Second guessing your decisions 
• Thinking of al the worst-case scenarios 

How to stop overthinking 

Are you ready to stop overthinking and break that habit? Here are my 20 Ways to Stop Overthinking! 

Ask yourself, “is this a productive thought?” 

Don’t stew on the answer. It is a yes or no question, nothing else. Start there, and if the answer is no, remind yourself that this is not a productive thought. A wise person once said that our brain is the biggest muscle in our body, and just like when we workout and train other muscles, we can do the same thing with our brains. 

Remind yourself that your thoughts are just that, thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are not always truthful, accurate, or realistic. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if the thought is productive or not. By doing this, you’re identifying negative thoughts and once identified, you can start to change them. 

Put things in perspective 

I was in therapy once, complaining about something and the therapist asked me how often this specific issue happens in any given day, then any given week, and month. When I thought about it (the answer was a whopping ten minutes a day), it wasn’t nearly as often as it felt like in my head. This helped me put the issue in perspective, one that was rooted in reality, not just how it felt to me. 

Sometimes we need to do exactly this with ourselves and put things in perspective. What’s the worst that can happen? How likely is it that the worst will actually happen? Is the worst really that bad? What does that mean for me? 

When we take the time to judge the real importance of a situation or problem in relation to everything else, we are taking control by keeping it in perspective. That is a healthy way of looking at a problem. 

Know your body rhythm, and schedule your activities accordingly 

This means going to bed at the same time each night, getting plenty of sleep, eating at the same time daily (and healthy meals), exercising daily, even just 30 minutes. 

Your body will adjust to whatever schedule works for you and your life. You just want to be as consistent as possible. Schedule activities that fit into whatever your body rhythm is. If you normally wake up at 11am, don’t schedule an appointment for 8am. You’ll throw your body rhythm off, and it can be very difficult to get back on track. 

Focus on your five senses 

• Acknowledge five things you see around you right now. 
• Acknowledge four things you can touch right now. 
• Acknowledge three things you can hear right now. 
• Acknowledge two things you can smell right now. 
• Acknowledge one thing you can taste right now. 

This is a simple and very effective way to regain control of your mind by bringing you back to the present through relying on your five senses. It is an amazing grounding technique. 

Surrender the need to be perfect 

Being perfect is simply impossible. The need to be perfect and holding yourself to impossibly high standards only guarantees one thing: failure. That’s the only thing that comes out of being a perfectionist. 

Signs you’re a perfectionist: 

• You have a fear of failure 
• You’re self-critical 
• You have obsessive thinking
• You seek constant reassurance
• You set unattainable goals

A perfectionist often is insecure and anxious about falling short of their impossibly high standards, and lives in fear of shame and humiliation. 

Setting real and attainable goals is essential! Set goals by writing them down, and a deadline, and the steps necessary to reach your goals. Detail in writing exactly how you need to proceed to reach these real and attainable goals in your life. Once you reach one, celebrate it! Shout it from the rooftop and be proud of this accomplishment. You deserve it! 

It should also be noted that you need to be patient and forgiving of yourself. Not every day is going to go exactly as you planned. That’s ok! It really is. Think about how much you did accomplish today. 

Sometimes just acknowledging that the kids and pets are fed and the house didn’t burn down is a serious accomplishment. That’s awesome. You can do other things tomorrow, but be proud of what you did today too. 

Accept that you can’t change the past 

No matter how much you dwell on the past, you can’t change it. But you absolutely can use the past as a learning experience and choose to be better each day from there. Focus on the past as a learning experience that you can grow from instead of dwelling on whatever has happened. 

Also keep in mind that we have all made mistakes, made bad decisions, or have a skeleton or two hanging around in the closet that we don’t want others to see. You aren’t the only one! Nobody is perfect. 

Accept that you can’t predict or control the future 

Accepting this fact allows you to live in the present moment instead of worrying about things you have no control over. The present is just that, it is a gift you’ll never experience in the same way twice. Enjoy it! 

Exercise 

Exercise not only helps to reduce the risk of some major medical conditions, it will boost your energy, improve your mood, and mental health. Mood and mental health are easily affected by overthinking. Exercise can also reduce anxiety and depression. 

Go outside and go for a 30 minute walk each day. Exercise doesn’t need to be elaborate or complicated. You don’t need to join a gym. Just go outside and get moving. That’s it! 

Accept that you don’t have to understand everything 

It really is perfectly okay that you don’t have the answers to everything. Because nobody does. You aren’t missing anything by not having all the answers, and it doesn’t make you less of a person. 

Trying to understand everything and have all the answers takes you away from the present though, and that can rob you of the joy of what is happening in your life right now. You owe it to yourself to live in the moment, not in the past, and not worrying about things you can’t control. 

Repeat phrases to calm and center yourself 

Sometimes you just have to talk to yourself. Repeat phrases like, “relax”, “I am safe”, “settle/be still”, or any other phrases that will help remind you that things are okay. 

My personal favorite is, “I have done this before, and I can do it again.” This reminds me that I can handle things because I always have in the past and made it through. 

Do only one thing at a time 

Focus on one task. Just one. Once you’ve accomplished it, move on to the next thing. I have to make a list of things I want to do each day, then start checking them off the list as I go. Because if I’m not focusing on one single task at a time, my brain starts running off in way too many directions that aren’t healthy, and I don’t actually accomplish anything. 

Acknowledge the problem 

Acknowledge the problem, but focus more on the potential solutions instead of just the problem. The biggest problem with overthinking is that we dwell on the problem instead of the solution. 

Give yourself a moment to acknowledge the problem, it is there, it is present, and it is absolutely a problem. 

Now that you’ve acknowledged the problem, let’s start working on a solution. Focus your time and energy there. When you shift toward finding a useful solution, you are developing critical thinking skills that will not only serve you better and are healthy, you are helping yourself break the habit of overthinking, and it will happen less often as you focus on solutions versus problems. 

Consider what you’re depriving yourself of by overthinking 

What happens when you overthink? You take yourself out of the present because you are so focused on the future, problems, and everything that can go wrong. Overthinking is the thief of joy. 

Think about the positive things you’re missing out on by being so busy overthinking. You’re likely missing out on laughter, being present and spontaneous, having fun, amazing moments with family and friends, creating wonderful memories. 

Are these things really worth missing due to overthinking? If the answer is no, it is time to really take that into consideration and break the habit of overthinking. 

Consider what you might feel if you stopped overthinking 

What if you stopped overthinking and you felt happy? What if you found you laugh more, have more energy for relationships in your life? What else could you feel and enjoy if you stopped overthinking? 

Take some time and really consider the positive results that can happen if you stop overthinking. I think you’ll be amazed at the answers! 

Ask yourself, “What is within my control? What isn’t?” 

When I was in high school, there was a police officer that worked there. He drew a picture of a big circle and a little circle inside of it. I remember making the joke that it was a donut. A cop drawing a picture of a donut was amusing to me at that age. But this is something I still remember to this day, because it has stuck with me, and is such a useful tool. 

The big circle represented things that were not within my control. The small circle represents the things that I can control. When I am struggling with this, I will draw those same two circles, a big one and a small one, then write down the things I can and can’t control within the appropriate circle. 

This helps me to put things in perspective. I need to be worrying about the things in the small circle, the ones that I can control. Things in the big circle I don’t need to worry about, because I cannot control those, so worrying about them is useless. 

Compartmentalize worry time 

Give yourself 15 minutes to worry, then it is time to move on. Set a timer on this one. That way you ensure you stick to that 15 minutes, and not a second more. If you absolutely have to take the time to worry, do it. Just don’t overdo it. 

Practice mindfulness 

Mindfulness is a moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and surroundings. This is done without judgment of yourself. Remember that the world isn’t black and white. Be patient with yourself. 

This is an excellent way to be present in the moment and let go of past and future thoughts. Don’t waste your time and energy on regrets. Focus on the present. 

• Take a seat in a place that feels calm and quiet to you. 
• Set a time limit. If you’re just beginning, choose a short amount of time, like 5-10 minutes. 
• Notice your body and what you’re feeling. 
• Feel your breath, and what that feels like to you. 
• Notice when your mind starts wandering off and taking you out of the present. 
• Be kind to yourself when your mind wanders. But also bring yourself back to the present. 

Practice deep breathing 

Deep breathing and meditation can be an excellent tool for redirecting your thoughts into a more positive direction. The goal here is not to clear your mind. It is meant to focus on something and practice redirecting your focus when your mind starts to wander in an unhealthy direction. 

Take a class on improvisation 

Taking a class will allow you to practice being both creative and spontaneous in a supportive setting. This can help you to let go of the need to constantly plan things out, and force you to focus on being in the moment. Doing so in a healthy and supportive environment will also help you to feel safer practicing this. 

Help someone else 

Helping others can improve your self confidence, self esteem, and self awareness. It also reduces symptoms of depression. This can also improve social interaction, be a great distraction from overthinking, and may put your problems (or perceived problems) into a better perspective. 

Acts of kindness and helping others are also contagious. We can all use some more kindness in our lives. Let it start with you! 

20 Ways to Stop Overthinking Discussion 

Overthinking is one of the most destructive habits that you can have in your life, in my opinion. I speak this from experience, because once I decided to break that habit, the results were simply amazing to me. I often wondered why I tolerated this habit for far longer than I should have.

Have these tips helped you to start breaking the habit of overthinking? Is overthinking a problem in your life? What kinds of issues or challenges have you faced because of overthinking, and how were you able to break that cycle in your life? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

Building a healthy relationship with yourself is essential. You can’t have a healthy relationship with anyone else without first having one with yourself. Everything in your life starts with you. 

When you build a healthy relationship with yourself it will boost self-confidence, allow you to really get to know yourself, and set higher standards for how you allow other people to treat you. 

So let’s get going and help you to find and nurture your best self! 

12 Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself 

• Accepting yourself, perceived flaws and all. 
• Learning to identify your wants, needs, and emotions. 
• Being kind and loving toward yourself. 
• Forgiving your past mistakes. 
• Learning to trust yourself. 
• Valuing your opinion. 
• Having your own back. 
• Showing up for yourself. 
• Holding yourself accountable. 
• Believing in yourself. 
• Reflecting on and acting in your best interest. 

Acceptance 

Accepting yourself, perceived flaws, and all. Acceptance means accepting everything about yourself, including what you deem imperfections. Because we all have them. 

Acceptable means 

• Making contact with your inner self. 
• Honestly face your inner obstacles and resistance. 
• Dealing with old wounds. 
• Forgiving your past. 
• Accepting where you are right now. 
• Forming relationships where you feel loved and appreciated. 
• Practicing the kind of love you aspire to receive. 

Identifying What You Need 

Identify your wants, needs, and emotions. Learning to identify what you need is one of the best ways to build a healthy relationship with yourself. 

Because you can’t give yourself what you need if you can’t identify what that is. If you’re struggling with identifying your needs, try making it a habit to check in with yourself several times a day. Normalize asking yourself, “what do I need right now?” 

Make a list of these 5 key needs and then ask yourself what do you need to achieve these

• To feel safe. 
• To feel competent and have a sense of identity. 
• The freedom to express your needs and emotions. 
• To act spontaneously and play. 
• To have realistic limits that help you use self-control. 

Being Kind To Yourself 

Kindness starts within ourselves. We can’t be kind to anyone else if we are not kind to ourselves. 

Kindness means 

• Talking kindly to yourself. 
• Practicing gratitude. 
• Performing acts of kindness to others. 
• Daily reflections. 
• Self-care. 
• Being responsible for yourself. 
• Investing in your interests. 
• Practicing mindfulness. 
• Spending time in and around nature. 
• Thinking of positive opportunities. 

Forgiveness 

Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. This one isn’t always easy, trust me! I struggle with it too. But the past is the past for a reason, and we can’t change it. It should be a lesson, not a life sentence. 

There is a reason that the rearview mirror in a car is so small compared to the windshield. What is coming is so much better, so let’s look forward to the future instead of dwelling on the past. 

When you are able to forgive yourself for past mistakes and move forward, it opens up a whole new world of possibilities because you’re able to learn from your mistakes and become a better person because of it. 

Forgiveness includes 

• Focusing on your emotions. 
• Acknowledge the mistake verbally. 
• Thinking of a mistake as a learning experience. 
• Giving yourself permission to put the process on hold if necessary. 
• Having a conversation with your inner critic. 
• Noticing when you are being self-critical. 
• Quiet the negative messages of your inner critic. 
• Get clear about what you want. 
• Take your own advice. 
• Stop reliving the mistake over and over. 
• Show kindness and compassion to yourself. 
• Seek professional help if needed to move forward. 

Learn To Trust Yourself 

Trust is such a difficult thing to achieve, and it is especially true when it comes to ourselves. Yet trusting yourself is one of the most important things you can do. 

Trusting yourself is 

• Being yourself. 
• Setting reasonable and achievable goals. 
• Be kind to yourself.
• Building on your strengths. 
• Spending time with yourself. 
• Being decisive. 

Value Your Opinions 

Your opinion of your life and your choices means more than the opinions of anyone else! Read that again if you need to. Your life belongs to you and only you are in charge of your own happiness. Your opinion matters. 

Why your opinion matters 

• Your life belongs to you, not anyone else. 
• You know what is best for you. 
• You’re not in competition with anyone else. 
• It is impossible to please everyone. 

Have Your Back 

Be your own cheerleader! So many times I see people talking about how their friends and family don’t believe in them or support their goals. I always say that you gotta be your own cheerleader. Believe in yourself, have your back, and cheer and celebrate every single accomplishment! 

Having your own back means you’re not beating yourself up and being counterproductive toward yourself, your feelings, or your goals. 

When you have your back, there is no stopping you. It won’t matter what anyone else thinks, as you know just how amazing and capable that you are. 

If you are struggling with this, make a list, I call it the “love list” of things you love and appreciate about yourself. When you practice replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll be good at it. 

Ways to practice having your own back 

• Feeling proud of you you are. 
• Having confidence in yourself. 
• Recognizing your worth, even when you make mistakes. 
• Reminding yourself that you deserve better when negative habits arise. 

Show Up For Yourself 

What does it mean to show up for yourself? It means taking care of yourself in ways that support your mental and emotional health. This means taking time for things that bring you joy and keep your mind clear. 

By showing up for yourself, you’re sending a very clear and powerful message to yourself that you are worth taking care of, that you are worthy of love and important. This message has a very powerful and positive ripple in all areas of your life. 

Ways to show up for yourself can include 

• Making time for activities that bring you joy. 
• Practicing positive self-talk and thoughts. 
• Practicing self-compassion. 
• Set firm boundaries. 
• Take time for yourself. 
• Connect with your intuition. 
• Journaling. 
• Getting comfortable with vulnerability. 
• Connect with your passion. 
• Connect with your authentic self. 

Be Honest 

Honesty is always the best policy, and I find that especially true when developing a healthy relationship with yourself. If you aren’t honest with yourself, you clearly don’t trust yourself, or have the confidence to make the necessary changes within yourself. 

Ways to be honest with yourself 

• Stop putting off dreams and goals until tomorrow. 
• Own your own mistakes. 
• Don’t shrug off your feelings. 
• Realize that you don’t know everything. 
• Find someone you trust to give you honest feedback. 

Hold Yourself Accountable 

When you are accountable to yourself, you’re holding yourself to a higher standard than others do, and you really are showing up for yourself and making changes when necessary. 

Holding yourself accountable means 

• Getting into the right mindset to make progress. 
• Identify your personal mission statement. 
• Focus on small goals. 
• Commit your plans to paper. 
• Practice conscientiousness. 
• Break the walls down. 
• Reward and reprimand yourself. 
• Reflect on your progress. 

Believe In Yourself 

You are amazing! Take a moment to stop and think about the person you look up to. What are their qualities that make them worthy of looking up to? Why can’t you be that kind of person? You can! But you have to start believing in yourself first. That is what sparks the change toward becoming the best version of yourself. 

Believing in yourself means 

• Being realistic about goals. 
• Surrounding yourself with positivity. 
• Acknowledging accomplishments and passions. 
• Sharing what you have to offer with others. 
• Reaching for the stars. 
• Not being afraid to speak up. 
• Taking care of yourself. 

Reflect 

Reflect on if you’re acting in your own best interest by all of the things I talked about above. Is there room for improvement? Or a specific category that needs more attention than the others? 

12 Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Notes 

Building a healthy relationship with yourself is not an overnight process. Nor is it ever finished. It is a continued work in progress, just as you yourself are. There will be setbacks and bad days where negative habits try to make a comeback. 

But you deserve better. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship with yourself. You deserve the best! So focus on being the best. It will really make a huge difference in your life and the way you feel about and view yourself. This also changes how you view and treat others in your life. It is a cyclebreaking change for the better. 

Be patient as you go through this process and take it one day at a time, one portion of this process at a time. Show yourself grace and kindness as you build that healthy relationship with yourself. You are amazing and you deserve to become the best and most successful version of yourself that you can be! 

12 Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Discussion 

Do you have a healthy relationship with yourself? Is there room for improvement? Do you have any other tips on building a healthy relationship with yourself that I left out? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

10 ways to find yourself. Do you know who you are? Like who you really are, at your core? Not just who you think you should be, or who other people think you are? 

You need to know who you are beyond how other people see you. Because if you don’t, you’ll spend your life searching, blowing paychecks on fashionable trends, job hopping, and mindlessly wandering through life with a general sense of dissatisfaction. 

But you’re better than that! You deserve to be happy, and knowing who you are is the first major step toward your happiness. Come on in and let me tell you about the 10 ways to find yourself. 

Make a List 

Make a list of everything you like and dislike. Next up, the things you value and do not value. Third, how you want to spend your time and don’t want to spend your time. 

When you make a list, it becomes really hard to ignore things when they are literally right in your face, in black and white. This helps to make you more accountable for your choices. 

If something you’re doing falls into the do not like/value/want to spend your time doing, it is much easier to see that and make the necessary changes. It is also really helpful to look at this list when something is bothering you and see where it falls within the list. 

This helps to make decision making a lot more intentional, not just because it is what is expected. Intentional choices that center around what you value is a huge step toward your overall happiness! 

Evaluate the Physical Things Around You 

What do you keep in your space? Are there patterns in terms of being creative, a color scheme, specific products? Do you own a lot of books, makeup, art supplies, blankets, or something else? 

Do these things cause clutter in your space and your life? Clutter and disorganization make a statement just as much as cleanliness. 

Evaluate the People and Relationships Around You 

Is there a common issue that you continuously run into in your relationships? Does it seem like everyone treats you badly or behaves the exact same way, even if they don’t know each other? 

The common thread here is you. Before you’ll be able to shift your own mindset and step into the relationships you want, you need to be able to evaluate and understand why you don’t have them yet. 

Ask Yourself what Bothers You Most About Others 

The answer to this question is also what bothers you most about yourself, even if you haven’t reached the point where you can come to terms with that or vocalize it just yet. 

The fact you can’t quite come to terms with that fact yet is ok. It is coming, and that is exactly why you’re here reading this and taking the steps to find yourself, get to know yourself, and love yourself! 

Ask Yourself what You Love About Others 

What you admire in others is both what you’re capable of and what you desire for yourself. 

This is exactly why you need to love yourself before you can love other people. Seeking the best in them because it will align with the best in you. 

One great way to determine goals for yourself is to observe what you genuinely admire other people doing. Not what you feel jealous of, not what you want to be seen as, but what you actually admire other people doing. 

If Money Didn’t Matter, What Would You Spend Your Time Doing? 

I think this says so much about a person. My answer is exactly what I’m doing now, with a few additions. I would love to see everyone reach a point in their lives where they would do the same. 

It shows you where your heart is, and the desires you should consider adjusting your life to include. These shouldn’t just be dreams you have no real intention of working toward. 

Think About Who You Are Behind Closed Doors 

How you speak to others, what you think and feel, genuine opinions you have when no one else is around to filter or shift how you speak. 

Think about what you enjoy doing when no one else is around, how you dress and what you’re comfortable in. The most important thing is, how the person other people know you as differs from who you really are. 

Make a List of Things That You Want to Try, Then Try Them 

One of the easiest ways to boost your confidence is to try something new. You may even find you love it and are naturally great at it! Take a cooking class or try a new recipe, a yoga class, or whatever else may spark your interest. I found I love making things with paracord when I couldn’t buy exactly what I wanted, so I learned how to make it. 

Think About The People You’ve Had Strong Genuine Feelings For 

Thinking about the people you’ve had the strongest and most genuine feelings for and what they have in common will tell you a lot about what you feel you lack. 

Pay attention to patterns in what you seek from others. Are they kind, passive, strong, driven, or something else? 

Plan What You Would Do if You Know You Only Had a Fixed Amount of Time to Live 

If you knew you had three days to live, how would you spend your time? What would you do? Who would you spend your time with? How about three months? Three years? That may sound a bit morbid, I know. But there’s a reason to be thinking about these things. 

The things you would want to rush to do if your time was limited (it already is, let’s just be honest here) tend to be reflective of your purpose in life. Let that carry you and show you who you are. You just have to have the courage to know of it, and that means thinking about and admitting that life is short and confronting that fact. Which is something many people try to ignore because it is scary. 

Questions to Get to Know Yourself Better 

You can also ask yourself questions to better understand your own personality and what you want out of life. This goes back to the things I said earlier, just more in a direct list form, which I find helps me a lot when I’m working on myself. Sometimes answering direct questions is a really helpful way to find yourself. 

Personality Questions 

• List 25 things you life
• List 25 things you dislike 
• What is your favorite way to spend your free time? 
• What things do your family and friends ask you for help with?
• What is your dream career? 
• Name 5 things you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t. 
• If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
• What are you most afraid of? 
• List 25 things you love about yourself. 
• List 10 things about yourself that you would like to improve. 

Reflection Questions 

• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What is your biggest regret?
• What are you most grateful for? 
• What are your biggest failures? 
• How would you rate each area of your life on a scale of 1-10? 

Purpose Questions 

• What do you want your legacy to be? 
• How do you want to be remembered? 
• What is one way you plan to leave the world a better place than you found it? 
• What are your core values? 
• How do you define success? 
• What area of your life do you want to focus on improving right now? 

Goal Questions 

• What is your goal for improving one area of your life over the next 12 months? 
• What actions do you need to take in order to reach your goal?
• What actions are you going to focus on this month?
• What actions are you going to focus on this week? 
• How do you plan to keep yourself on track with your goal? 
• How will you hold yourself accountable? 
• What habits do you need to stop doing in order to reach your goal?
• What new habits do you need to develop to support you reaching your goal?
• What is one action you can take today that will help you reach your goal? 
• What are 5 ways you can be more productive this week? 

10 Ways to Find Yourself Notes 

This all may seem a bit overwhelming, and time consuming. What I recommend is taking a mere 15 minutes (there are 1,440 minutes in a day, you can spare 15, I promise) and simply start by reflecting on one of these points, or answering one of the questions I listed above. Then do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day. Keep going until you’ve done it all and you know and love yourself! 

Self reflection and really finding and getting to know yourself isn’t easy. But nothing in life that is worth doing is ever easy! Keep that in mind as you start this journey. 

If you’ve read this through to this point, obviously you are serious about finding, knowing, and loving yourself, and I want to say that I am proud of you for taking these steps toward becoming the best woman that you can be and really finding happiness in your life. There is both strength and power in that goal, and you should be proud of yourself too! 

10 Ways to Find Yourself Discussion 

Has this list of the 10 ways to find yourself been helpful to you? Is this a goal you’re currently working on? Let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

One of the things I’ve noticed about myself and coming from a background of abuse is that I am a chronic people pleaser. My self-worth used to be completely tied to that, and my inability to say no. 

This was detrimental to both my physical health and my mental health. But that’s where I thought I was valuable to people. 

12 Signs You’re a People Pleaser 

• You constantly apologize.
• You are always trying to make others happy. 
• You feel a sense of responsibility or guilt for others emotions. 
• Saying no feels impossible, and you’ll say yes, no matter what it does to you. 
• You can’t handle others being upset with you. 
• You go along with things you don’t agree with based on a fear of negative reactions or what others will think. 
• Rejection feels like death. 
• You feel like you don’t measure up, and you’re constantly trying to earn the approval of others. 
• You beat yourself up when you feel like you’ve failed someone, and you completely lack self-compassion. 
• Accepting criticism, constructive or not, is a serious struggle. It feels like a personal attack every time. 
• You overthink interactions with people because you’re worried about coming across as rude or strange. 
• You have low self-worth, and always put others before yourself. 

Why Being a People Pleaser Isn’t Healthy 

You allow yourself to be taken advantage of 

Because people pleasers fear letting others down, this results in accepting tasks or responsibilities you may not have time for or are simply not comfortable doing. Avoiding conflict at any cost, you agree to just about anything. People have learned they can depend on you, because you never say no. 

The feeling of approval and making others happy is what motivates your choice to say yes and inhibits your ability to say no. 

The problem here is that constantly being there for everyone else can be physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. Plus, it becomes really easy to start neglecting your own needs because you simply don’t have the time or energy to care for yourself properly. 

Your Self-Worth Decreases 

People pleaser often find themselves in one-way friendships. You’re there for everyone else, but who is actually there for you when you need someone? 

It’s easy to start feeling like you’re the listening ear, pack mule, or should to lean on, and nothing more. You’ll likely wind up with very low self-esteem because people with healthy levels of self-respect don’t allow themselves to be treated like a doormat. 

When you know and value your own self-worth, it is impossible to tolerate anyone else who doesn’t show you that same respect. But when you don’t don’t know your own worth, you become a doormat for others, and that is emotionally taxing. 

You Repress True Feelings 

Since you’re constantly trying to earn the approval of everyone around you, you’re more likely to smile and agree with things you wouldn’t normally agree on. Because no one agrees on everything all the time. It just isn’t possible. But people pleasers will do so, and repress their true feelings just because it is much easier than rocking the boat and risking the disapproval of others. 

This type of repression can slowly hack away at your identity and lead to intense feelings of resentment toward yourself. 

You Lack Self-Identity 

When your sense of worth stems from the opinions and happiness of others, your identity will start to slip through the cracks and disappear. It becomes really easy to lose sight of who you really are. 

When my best friend died, I made the choice to cut out toxic family members. It took a lot of strength and courage, and it still takes it to tell my story. But once they were gone, the question became, who am I? Who is Erica? I didn’t know, because my entire identity had been wrapped up in taking care of my mother, and being a people pleaser. I was lost trying to figure out who I was and what I was supposed to do. 

Others take up your valuable time 

Your time is so rarely your own when you’re a people pleaser. Even when you know you need time to yourself to relax, you’ll sacrifice it when asked, without hesitation. 

Time is a valuable thing, and life is already too short. You show people you don’t value your own time when you’re always there for them. When you don’t allow enough time for yourself, you’re going to end up feeling stressed and emotionally drained. 

Building authentic relationships is difficult 

It is next to impossible to build an authentic relationship with anyone because you are too busy being a people pleaser to simply be yourself. Your true amazing and authentic self never sees the light of day to shine through. 

Do people actually like you for who you are, or do they like you because you’re always agreeing with them? It can be difficult to stand up for your thoughts, beliefs, and desires, because of the paralyzing fear of what other people think of you and a potentially negative reaction. 

It is harder to reach your own goals 

It isn’t just harder to reach your own goals, it’s damn near impossible when you don’t make yourself a priority. My question is, do you even know what your own goals are? 

If you’re forever putting your life on hold for other people, you’ll end up dissatisfied, bitter, and resentful. I know, because I’ve experienced it. 

Before my best friend died and I decided to become a blogger, I was that person who was forever putting my life on hold for others, especially my mother. She was an attention seeking narcissist, and I bought into it all, hook, line, and sinker. Because I was a people pleaser. 

The pressure of trying to please everyone is suffocating 

You can’t please everyone, so don’t even try! Seriously, stop trying right now. Because if you’re still trying, you’re going to wear yourself out completely. The burden of attempting to please everyone weighs heavy, and it feels like a complete failure when you can’t do it. 

This is when anxiety and depression take over. I’ve found myself feeling very apathetic about myself when this happens. Despite the fact I’ve worked my ass off to please everyone around me, and completely sacrificed myself and my time, it still feels like a complete and catastrophic failure because I couldn’t do it all. I should have been able to do it all. 

Your emotional, mental, and physical health can and will suffer 

People pleasing should literally come with a warning label that it is hazardous to your health! I’m not even kidding when I say that either. Trying to please everyone is impossible, and trying to live up to something that is impossible is exhausting and stressful. 

The list of both short and long-term side effects and repercussions is both insane and terrifying. These can include, but are not limited to, muscle tightness, headaches, fatigue, heart problems, obesity, and much more. It really is scary! 

How Can You Stop? 

Say No 

Saying no the first few times is both awkward and terrifying. Trust me, I get that one. I always felt like such a selfish bitch when I first started saying no. I really did, and it wasn’t fun. How do you get over that? Practice. Practice, practice, and practice some more. As with most things in life, practice makes perfect. 

I promise that the world will not come to a crashing halt if you say no. Remember that saying no does not make you selfish. Say it with me, saying no does not make me selfish! If the person you’re saying no to is anything but understanding and respectful, I encourage you to reconsider that relationship, and ask yourself how healthy it is for you. 

You may lose relationships simply by saying no too. Be prepared for that. Because when people cease having a use for you, they’ll go away. This isn’t a bad thing! Let them naturally drop out of your life, and count that as a blessing. 

Check in with yourself 

Before you agree to anything, ask yourself how you’ll feel if you say yes. Do you have time? Is it something you even want to do? Is saying yes going to make you happy? Is there another option? 

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then your answer should be no as well. It’s literally that simple. If you don’t have time, you don’t want to do it, it isn’t going to make you happy, it’s time to say no. 

Stop caring what other people think 

I know this one is much easier said than done, trust me. I get it completely. But when you start saying no, and you understand your self-worth and start really building your confidence, the opinions of others will cease to matter. 

It is a process, don’t get me wrong. But it gets easier as time goes on, and once it is, you’ll start to see how much healthier and happier you are. You deserve to be healthy and happy! 

Love yourself completely 

When you fall in love with yourself, and you know exactly why you love yourself, you will not allow yourself to be treated like a doormat. You are in charge of your happiness. No one but you, and you alone. If you aren’t happy, it is time to make changes. 

12 Signs You’re a People Pleaser Discussion 

I really hope this has helped you start breaking the cycle of pleasing people and start the process of taking back your life and being happy. 

Have these signs and tips helped you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!