9 Ways to Fall in Love with Yourself
9 Ways to Fall in Love with Yourself
If you struggle with your self-worth, this post is for you! Do you ever feel like you simply aren’t good enough, or that you’ll never catch a break, or that you’re a complete failure? The complete lack of confidence in ourselves feels overwhelming at times. We’ve all been there, and it is a really dark and difficult place to be. What feels even more difficult is pulling yourself back out of that black hole.
I’ve often felt these things and fought with them as a writer, as a wife, and even simply as a woman. Being raised by a textbook narcissist did not help this issue either, because those beliefs were so ingrained in me from the beginning.
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But the best part is that pulling yourself back out is not impossible! I will tell you that when I started to focus on these 9 ways to fall in love with yourself, my life changed. It really was a game changer for me. I learned to love myself again, and to also feel safe in my own skin.
Falling in love with myself and feeling safe in my own skin was absolutely amazing for my mental health. It gave me the opportunity to really heal from the limiting beliefs that came from being raised by a narcissist. I was able to start confronting memories and healing from them, and understanding that isn’t who I am anymore. I’m better than that.
What this did was free up my energy to love the people around me, as well as pursue the things I’m passionate about and make healthy changes by focusing on my own health and love. This shift in mindset is like finding the light at the end of the tunnel. Except I was tired of looking for it, so I lit it up by myself and for myself.
It is time for you to light up the tunnel through these ways to fall in love with yourself! Let’s go!
I love affirmations because they are such a simple and effective way to show ourselves love and stay positive. Give it a try and write down ten things you love about yourself. Focus on the positive instead of the negative.
My favorite affirmations:
- I am smart
- I am strong
- I am capable of achieving great things
Comparing ourselves with others steals our peace and happiness! It can easily make you feel like you are not good enough when you really are. It fills the mind with self doubt.
We also don’t all walk the same path or even at the same pace. Every single one of us has gone through a lot to get to where we are right now. It is easy to compare ourselves with others who have nicer things or even things we want. But the truth is, you have no idea what someone went through or how hard they worked to have those things and be where they are in life.
One of my favorite phrases is, don’t worry about if the grass is greener on the other side. Water your side and make it green! Which I think applies here. If I’m busy watering my little patch of grass and making it green, I don’t have the time or energy to compare my patch of grass with anyone else’s.
Do Things You Love
If you want to start loving yourself again, it is important to do the things you love and enjoy. This is also a form of self-care. Far too often it is easy, especially as women, to put the things we want to do on hold for others and focus on them versus taking the time for ourselves. I’m guilty of this one as well.
But taking the time for myself makes me fall in love with myself, because doing these things reminds me that I’m important too. I’m just as important as my husband, my family, my friends.
Have Self-Care Dates
Have self-care dates by yourself. I call this dating myself. I’ve talked about dating your spouse, but it is just as important to date yourself!
It always seems weird to go out alone at first. Like everyone notices the fact you’re alone and stares at you. I used to be really self-conscious about that. But these dates will help you build confidence and enjoy being alone.
What kind of dates can you do by yourself?
- Go out to eat (I take a book or my Kindle, and love this time alone!)
- Take a walk, hike, or run
- Take a weekend getaway to your favorite place (I love a weekend hotel stay at the coast, for example)
- Go to the bookstore (or craft store, depending on your interests)
- Go window shopping at your favorite places
Eliminate Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs is exactly that, limiting. One of my favorite phrases is “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it is what you think you can or can’t do. Do you believe you can be successful, or do you believe you’re just going to fail from the start? Either way, you’re absolutely right. So why not eliminate the limiting belief that you’re going to fail?
Believing in myself was a total game changer for me. What are your dreams and goals? It is time to start going after them, and saying no to anything that doesn’t serve that purpose. This goes back to those positive affirmations and reminding yourself just how amazing you are. You can do this!
Try saying this:
- “I will be successful and have the job I want and love.”
- “I am capable of reaching my goals.”
- “I am worthy of both love and success.”
Celebrating the wins means both the big and the small wins. Because here’s the deal: the big wins aren’t really big wins. They are a series of small wins that leads to something big. So don’t ignore the small wins!
Sometimes you just need to be your own cheerleader, because the people we expect to be our cheerleaders will let us down. Don’t worry about it. Be your own cheerleader, and be ok with it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Celebrating all your wins and becoming your own cheerleader can make a huge difference in your self-esteem and falling in love with yourself. This is part of that lighting the tunnel up yourself idea.
Start a Journal
Journaling is an incredible way to reconnect with ourselves. It can bring out the unconscious thoughts and limiting beliefs we may not have even realized were there, or how limiting they were.
When we write something down and acknowledge it is there, the power it holds is lost. It is like shining a light on a dark scary corner of a room that everyone avoids. Stop avoiding it, light it up, and show yourself that there is nothing there and keep moving forward.
Try Something New
What is something you want to try but fear is holding you back? There is nothing better than trying something that scares you, then realizing just what a badass woman you are for facing it and being successful. I strongly encourage you to try something new that scares you. It is empowering, and empowering yourself is an amazing way to fall in love with yourself again.
Practice Healthy Habits
When I am feeling low, the first thing that seems to go flying out the window are good habits, and this contributes to that darkness in the tunnel.
I find even the simplest ways to take care of myself to be really important. Drink enough water, get enough sleep, go outside and get some fresh air and exercise. None of these habits are big or require a significant amount of time or energy. Yet they are so often ignored and shouldn’t be. Focus on the little habits that you can easily do throughout the day and watch your mental health and overall happiness start to improve.
I’ve started taking vitamins each day along with some collagen powder to help improve some imbalances within my body. Each day when I take these vitamins, I make it a point to drink 32 ounces of water. I have a specific Nalgene bottle I use every day, and that helps set the tone for repeating it daily.
These are my favorite ways to fall in love with yourself again, and I think it is essential to both my mental health and my marriage. Because it is impossible to love anyone else if we don’t love ourselves first.
Has this post been helpful to you? What are things you do to fall in love with yourself? Let me know in the comments!
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Oh I love this ever so much! It’s funny how the direction of your attention shows you where you need to heal – the comparison part really stuck out for me. Away I go to investigate and heal! Ha! Thank you for this post… many people will benefit so much.
The Homemaking Wife
Thank you so much, Laura!
One of my biggest issues listed here is the comparison, I do it a lot and I need to work on it. Great post with tips and info!
The Homemaking Wife
I think it is far too easy to fall into the comparison trap, Luna! Especially because we all use social media so much these days.
I always say that you can’t be good to others if you are not good for yourself. self-love is essential for any person in my humble opinion. You write the best ways to connect with yourself and see how fantastic you are and how much you deserve your own love
The Homemaking Wife
You are absolutely right, Lyosha!
I love this post. Self-love is so important for improving your mental health and overall wellbeing, especially as a woman. I’m particularly a fan of affirmations and journaling.
The Homemaking Wife
Self-love and mental health are definitely important for women, Riyah! Yet it is far too often ignored, because we put others in our lives first, and it is a really easy thing to do for women.