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5 Habits to Avoid in Your Marriage
Humans are creatures of habit. We all have habits, no matter how strange or useless that they are. Some habits are good, and some are bad.
Nathan has this weird habit of always having to put his left shoe on first. He can’t ever start with the right shoe. Why, I’ll never know. But starting with the left shoe is his habit. I like to read a short story when I wake up in the morning before I get out of bed. We all do certain things in a specific order, and change is very unwelcomed.
There are some habits that need to be avoided or broken though for a happy, healthy, and successful marriage. These habits can hurt your marriage and cause resentment.
If I’m doing any of these things, I’m not striving to be the best wife I can be, and that’s a problem for me. Which is what inspired this list of 5 Habits to Avoid in Your Marriage.
Marriage is hard work even without these toxic habits!
Belittling Each Other
If you’re around other women who are complaining about their husbands, first off, you need a new circle of people you spend your time with. But besides that, it is a really easy trap to fall into. It seems like swapping “annoying husband” stories with friends would be harmless, right?
But it isn’t harmless, it is toxic and destructive to your marriage. When you speak badly of your husband, you’re speaking badly about yourself too. Remember, you made the choice to marry him. When you belittle or complain about your husband, you’re telling the world that you made a bad choice when you married him. Is that what you want to tell others?
I also firmly believe that if you can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Putting Others First
Your husband comes first. No matter what. This isn’t to say that kids, parents, friends, or other family members aren’t important. But your husband should always come first.
You should never have to choose between your husband and someone else because your relationship is the most important one in your life.
You and your husband are a team. Marriage is a team sport! When you put anyone else first, you’re showing him that you don’t want to be part of the team. That leads to anger and resentment.
Hiding Things From Each Other
People lie for one reason, and one reason only. They lie because they are scared. If you feel the need to lie to your husband about anything, there are much bigger issues within your marriage that need to be addressed.
Lies destroy the value and trust in your marriage. That also shows a serious lack of respect for both your husband and your marriage.
Remember how I said marriage is a team sport? Y’all need to be on the same page, and that starts with speaking the truth.
Ignoring Each Other When You Come Home
This bad habit seems so simple and insignificant in comparison to the first three I mentioned. But it sets the tone for your time together.
When you greet him with love, you’re telling him that you’re happy to see him and want to spend time with him. Making your husband feel loved and wanted is essential. It only takes a few seconds to greet him, but it can make all the difference in the world, and remind both of you where your priorities are.
Being a homemaker means creating a warm, welcoming, and safe place for your husband to come home to. If you’re ignoring him, you’re telling him you don’t respect him or care enough to be happy that he’s home.
Spending Too Much Time On Your Phone
Phones are a fantastic way to bring the people far away closer to you. But it can take the people closest to you farther away, and that isn’t fair. Your phone is not more important than your husband, and if it is, you need to examine why that is and make some changes.
Phones are literally the fastest way to make either spouse feel ignored. There are times when phones are fine and it doesn’t matter. But it can become a bad habit when instead of talking to each other, you’re talking to the air because phones are a distraction.
5 Habits to Avoid in Your Marriage Discussion
Keep in mind that neither of you are perfect. There will be times that mistakes happen. But the key is not allowing mistakes to become habits. Bad habits are hard to break, and they cause unnecessary tension and problems in your marriage. I like to avoid potential problems when I can before they become full blown problems that require a lot more work to fix.
If any of these toxic habits are an issue for you, it needs to be talked through. Set boundaries or standards, and stick to them. A great example of this is I have a strict no phones in the kitchen rule when I’m making dinner with Nathan. That’s my quality time with him, and I get irritated when his priority is his phone, because I see it as a lack of respect for me and our time together.
Are you guilty of any of these bad habits in your marriage? What steps have you taken to break these habits? What other bad habits would you encourage wives to avoid? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!