10 Ways to Find Yourself
10 ways to find yourself. Do you know who you are? Like who you really are, at your core? Not just who you think you should be, or who other people think you are?
You need to know who you are beyond how other people see you. Because if you don’t, you’ll spend your life searching, blowing paychecks on fashionable trends, job hopping, and mindlessly wandering through life with a general sense of dissatisfaction.
But you’re better than that! You deserve to be happy, and knowing who you are is the first major step toward your happiness. Come on in and let me tell you about the 10 ways to find yourself.
Make a List
Make a list of everything you like and dislike. Next up, the things you value and do not value. Third, how you want to spend your time and don’t want to spend your time.
When you make a list, it becomes really hard to ignore things when they are literally right in your face, in black and white. This helps to make you more accountable for your choices.
If something you’re doing falls into the do not like/value/want to spend your time doing, it is much easier to see that and make the necessary changes. It is also really helpful to look at this list when something is bothering you and see where it falls within the list.
This helps to make decision making a lot more intentional, not just because it is what is expected. Intentional choices that center around what you value is a huge step toward your overall happiness!
Evaluate the Physical Things Around You
What do you keep in your space? Are there patterns in terms of being creative, a color scheme, specific products? Do you own a lot of books, makeup, art supplies, blankets, or something else?
Do these things cause clutter in your space and your life? Clutter and disorganization make a statement just as much as cleanliness.
Evaluate the People and Relationships Around You
Is there a common issue that you continuously run into in your relationships? Does it seem like everyone treats you badly or behaves the exact same way, even if they don’t know each other?
The common thread here is you. Before you’ll be able to shift your own mindset and step into the relationships you want, you need to be able to evaluate and understand why you don’t have them yet.
Ask Yourself what Bothers You Most About Others
The answer to this question is also what bothers you most about yourself, even if you haven’t reached the point where you can come to terms with that or vocalize it just yet.
The fact you can’t quite come to terms with that fact yet is ok. It is coming, and that is exactly why you’re here reading this and taking the steps to find yourself, get to know yourself, and love yourself!
Ask Yourself what You Love About Others
What you admire in others is both what you’re capable of and what you desire for yourself.
This is exactly why you need to love yourself before you can love other people. Seeking the best in them because it will align with the best in you.
One great way to determine goals for yourself is to observe what you genuinely admire other people doing. Not what you feel jealous of, not what you want to be seen as, but what you actually admire other people doing.
If Money Didn’t Matter, What Would You Spend Your Time Doing?
I think this says so much about a person. My answer is exactly what I’m doing now, with a few additions. I would love to see everyone reach a point in their lives where they would do the same.
It shows you where your heart is, and the desires you should consider adjusting your life to include. These shouldn’t just be dreams you have no real intention of working toward.
Think About Who You Are Behind Closed Doors
How you speak to others, what you think and feel, genuine opinions you have when no one else is around to filter or shift how you speak.
Think about what you enjoy doing when no one else is around, how you dress and what you’re comfortable in. The most important thing is, how the person other people know you as differs from who you really are.
Make a List of Things That You Want to Try, Then Try Them
One of the easiest ways to boost your confidence is to try something new. You may even find you love it and are naturally great at it! Take a cooking class or try a new recipe, a yoga class, or whatever else may spark your interest. I found I love making things with paracord when I couldn’t buy exactly what I wanted, so I learned how to make it.
Think About The People You’ve Had Strong Genuine Feelings For
Thinking about the people you’ve had the strongest and most genuine feelings for and what they have in common will tell you a lot about what you feel you lack.
Pay attention to patterns in what you seek from others. Are they kind, passive, strong, driven, or something else?
Plan What You Would Do if You Know You Only Had a Fixed Amount of Time to Live
If you knew you had three days to live, how would you spend your time? What would you do? Who would you spend your time with? How about three months? Three years? That may sound a bit morbid, I know. But there’s a reason to be thinking about these things.
The things you would want to rush to do if your time was limited (it already is, let’s just be honest here) tend to be reflective of your purpose in life. Let that carry you and show you who you are. You just have to have the courage to know of it, and that means thinking about and admitting that life is short and confronting that fact. Which is something many people try to ignore because it is scary.
Questions to Get to Know Yourself Better
You can also ask yourself questions to better understand your own personality and what you want out of life. This goes back to the things I said earlier, just more in a direct list form, which I find helps me a lot when I’m working on myself. Sometimes answering direct questions is a really helpful way to find yourself.
- List 25 things you life
- List 25 things you dislike
- What is your favorite way to spend your free time?
- What things do your family and friends ask you for help with?
- What is your dream career?
- Name 5 things you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t.
- If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
- What are you most afraid of?
- List 25 things you love about yourself.
- List 10 things about yourself that you would like to improve.
- What accomplishments are you most proud of?
- What is your biggest regret?
- What are you most grateful for?
- What are your biggest failures?
- How would you rate each area of your life on a scale of 1-10?
- What do you want your legacy to be?
- How do you want to be remembered?
- What is one way you plan to leave the world a better place than you found it?
- What are your core values?
- How do you define success?
- What area of your life do you want to focus on improving right now?
- What is your goal for improving one area of your life over the next 12 months?
- What actions do you need to take in order to reach your goal?
- What actions are you going to focus on this month?
- What actions are you going to focus on this week?
- How do you plan to keep yourself on track with your goal?
- How will you hold yourself accountable?
- What habits do you need to stop doing in order to reach your goal?
- What new habits do you need to develop to support you reaching your goal?
- What is one action you can take today that will help you reach your goal?
- What are 5 ways you can be more productive this week?
10 Ways to Find Yourself Notes
This all may seem a bit overwhelming, and time consuming. What I recommend is taking a mere 15 minutes (there are 1,440 minutes in a day, you can spare 15, I promise) and simply start by reflecting on one of these points, or answering one of the questions I listed above. Then do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day. Keep going until you’ve done it all and you know and love yourself!
Self reflection and really finding and getting to know yourself isn’t easy. But nothing in life that is worth doing is ever easy! Keep that in mind as you start this journey.
If you’ve read this through to this point, obviously you are serious about finding, knowing, and loving yourself, and I want to say that I am proud of you for taking these steps toward becoming the best woman that you can be and really finding happiness in your life. There is both strength and power in that goal, and you should be proud of yourself too!
10 Ways to Find Yourself Discussion
Has this list of the 10 ways to find yourself been helpful to you? Is this a goal you’re currently working on? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!