Table of Contents
10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself Introduction
10 simple ways to show up for yourself is a list I created because it is essential to make yourself a priority in your own life. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself, and that starts right here with you.
Showing up for yourself is a choice that you make each and every day. Do you do it, or do you ignore your needs and put them on the back burner? Come on in and let me show you my 10 simple ways to show up for yourself.
What does it mean to show up for yourself?
Many people talk about showing up for yourself and how important that it is. But what does that really mean? The short answer is that it means to believe in yourself. But it also means being patient with yourself, showing yourself both grace and kindness, especially when you are having a bad day.
It means being respectful enough to have boundaries, not taking on more than you can handle, and acknowledging that you are more than capable of achieving your dreams and goals.
Think about how you treat your family and friends. Do you show yourself the same level of kindness, respect, love, and loyalty? They matter to you, right? Of course they do. But you matter too!
10 simple ways to show up for yourself allows you to flourish and thrive, which is something everyone deserves to do, and you are no different. You can survive without showing up for yourself, sure. But why just survive when you can thrive? You owe it to yourself to create a life to thrive in. Being your own cheerleader instead of your own critic is showing up for yourself.
As women, it is an inherent trait to wear many hats and be there for everyone else. This can range from kids, aging parents, husband, boss, co-workers, friends, and everyone in between. It is easy to feel like we are required to show up for all of these people in our lives, and put ourselves on the back burner. It is easy to deem showing up for ourselves as selfish and silly or even a luxury.
But here’s the deal. You can’t burn a candle at both ends or pour from an empty cup. There’s a reason when you’re on an airplane that the emergency instructions tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before you even consider helping anyone else. Why? You have to take care of yourself first.
Showing up for yourself means you take care of yourself and you believe in yourself!
Are you ready to start showing up for yourself? Here are my 10 simple ways to show up for yourself! Let’s go!
10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself
Commit to habits, practices, routines, and rituals that are good for your well-being
Even when you don’t want to! I firmly believe that it is more important than ever to make this a priority when you don’t want to.
When you don’t have a routine or stick to one you’ve developed, everyday tasks seem overwhelming and impossible to accomplish. Having a routine keeps you on track both physically and mentally.
Benefits of a routine:
- Better mental health
- Less frequent illness
- Less stress
- Better overall health
- Higher productivity
- A more meaningful life
Allow yourself to feel any and all feelings without labeling them as wrong, bad, or negative
Your feelings are completely valid! Acknowledge that they are there, they are real, and that is how you’re feeling in the moment. Nothing more, no labels, no telling yourself you shouldn’t feel that way, or anything else.
Validate your feelings by acknowledging them and allowing them to happen. That way you can move on from them when you are done.
I have found that when I acknowledge and allow my feelings to happen, it is much easier to move on from them when I am done. Because I’m not spending more time than necessary trying to convince myself that I shouldn’t feel that way.
Being more aware of your emotions allows you to:
- Know yourself better
- Feel better about thing and cope in healthier ways
- Be less self-critical
- Pause instead of reacting to difficult emotions
- Decide how to handle situations
- Get along better with others
How to practice being more aware of your feelings and emotions:
- Notice and name your feelings. Name one feeling you experience on any given day as they happen, it can be anger, joy, proud, anxious, or whatever else you may be feeling.
- Track one emotion. Pick one of the emotions that you listed earlier, and track it throughout the day. Notice how often you feel that specific emotion and make a note of it. You can also write them down if it will help you.
- Learn new words for feelings. How many words can you name for anger? Try to think of some more, like outrage, hostility, irritation, annoyed, and so on. Or pick happiness, and think joy, fun, smiling, and keep going.
- Keep a feelings journal. Take a few minutes each day to write about how you feel and why. Writing about your feelings lets you get to know them and yourself better. When you understand your emotions, you can handle them and express them in a much healthier way.
- Notice feelings in art, songs, and movies. Focus on what the artist, writer, or director did to show those feelings. How did you feel in response?
Practice listening to your needs and discovering different ways of meeting those needs
If you came from any kind of abusive background, like in childhood or a relationship, this is a difficult task! Because you are accustomed to having your needs both shamed and ignored. Or you had to adapt to the wants and expectations of a controlling parent just to survive. What happens is that over time, rather than be disappointed or shamed for not having our needs met, we just tune them out completely.
This hinders healthy relationships because we can’t stop ourselves from sacrificing our needs and wants in a relationship. This turns into resentment and the relationship is unable to grow and continue.
When you pay attention to your own needs and make meeting them a priority, you are able to evaluate yourself and your life at any given moment. If you don’t value your needs, you won’t be able to meet them. Repeat that one with me. If you don’t value your needs, you won’t be able to meet them.
Identifying and meeting your needs
- What am I feeling?
- What caused these feelings?
- What do I want to do about these feelings?
- Is there another way I can view the situation?
- How can I cope with these emotions in a healthy way?
- Am I hungry? Thirsty? Sleepy? Too hot or cold? Uncomfortable? In pain? How can I resolve that?
- Am I getting enough nutrients, sleep, water, exercise, sunlight? How can I make sure I am getting enough of these things for my body?
- Am I satisfied with my current relationship?
- Is there anything I want to change?
- How do I feel when I’m with other people?
- Do I have enough support right now? If not, what can I do to grow my support network?
- What do I value? What brings me satisfaction, pleasure, or meaning in life?
- How can I incorporate more of that into my life?
- Ask yourself these questions to help you identify your needs, then start brainstorming solutions.
We all go through bad days and bad times where we struggle to be the ideal and perfect person. Humans are messy! Relationships are messy. Emotions are messy. It is okay to be messy and not perfect. You don’t need to beat yourself up for doing so. Embrace imperfections by practicing self-forgiveness.
Focus on being better tomorrow. Every single day we all have the chance to start fresh when we wake up and be better. Forgive yourself for today, learn from it, and strive for a better tomorrow. Remember that it is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it. Mistakes and life lessons are two completely different things.
Give yourself permission to start over again
Start over again as often as you need to! Think about this, when babies are learning to walk, we praise them repeatedly for getting back up and trying again. Why don’t we do that for ourselves as adults? It is something that we should be doing daily for ourselves.
Why do we focus on failure instead of getting back up and starting again? Why do we put such high expectations on doing it right the first time? It is time to ditch the all or nothing perfection theme!
It is time to start getting back up and starting over! Every single time you need to start over, do it. You don’t need to apologize for it either, just keep getting back up and starting over.
Tell yourself that you can! Banish the word can’t from your vocabulary. You are more capable than you know! If you have to start over to be successful, do it, and keep doing it.
Take care of your basic needs
This includes getting enough sleep, staying healthy, hydrated, and exercising consistently.
I talked about identifying your needs earlier, now it is time to make it a point to meet your specific needs and not simply ignore them.
If you need to, write out a list of your needs so you know exactly what they are. One of my most basic needs that I tend to forget or ignore is eating. This happens often when I sit down at my desk to work. I’m so focused on my writing that I ignore the most basic need, which is to eat and let my body keep its strength to keep me going all day.
Give yourself permission to rest
It is perfectly okay to take a break! Take the down time and relax, take care of yourself, and do whatever you need to for relaxation and peace. It isn’t doing nothing. It is doing exactly what you need to be doing for your health and happiness.
I think it is far too easy to place value on being busy just being busy. Being busy doesn’t always mean being productive. It means being busy. We often view slowing down and resting as lazy, not productive, or even selfish, and it is easy to feel guilty about it. You should never ever allow yourself to feel guilty for resting. It is absolutely necessary for your health!
What is something you enjoy doing that settles your brain? For me that is often crocheting. It is something to do with my hands, and it settles my brain and I feel calm. I can do it while watching tv, and it is relaxing. Find something that you can do to achieve the same goal, to settle your brain, find a calmness in it, and relax.
Spend quality time with yourself
Read, write, create, and get to know who you are past who you think you should be.
Spending time with yourself gives you a chance to not only get to know yourself and who you are when no one else is around, but to be comfortable in your own skin as well. It is also an opportunity to focus on your mental health. The more you know and understand yourself, the more likely you are to do things you love, learn and try new things that interest you, and grow.
I think of my alone time as a form of self-care.
If you are naturally an introvert, this alone time is even more essential than it may be for others. It allows you to recharge your social, battery, self-reflect, and process experiences. Without this alone time, an introvert will start to experience irritability, fatigue, poor sleep, and trouble concentrating.
View yourself through a lens of curiosity and compassion
You are a work in progress and should be evolving and growing. Compassion for yourself means being warm and understanding toward yourself when you fail or feel inadequate instead of ignoring the pain or becoming self-critical.
Curiosity is wanting to learn more about yourself, why you do certain things, and to understand who you are.
Here are my favorite affirmations to repeat to myself instead of criticisms.
- I accept the best and worst aspects of who I am.
- Changing is never simple, but it is easier if I stop being hard on myself.
- My mistakes just show that I’m growing and learning.
- It is okay to make mistakes and forgive myself.
- I am free to let go of others’ judgments.
- It is safe for me to show kindness to myself.
- I deserve compassion, tenderness, and empathy from myself.
- I release myself with forgiveness from today and move forward with self-love tomorrow.
- Every day is a new opportunity. I won’t let self-doubt or judgment hold me back from the future.
- I forgive myself and accept my flaws because nobody is perfect.
- I am not the first person to have felt this way, and I won’t be the last, but I am growing.
Make yourself a priority in your own life
Remind yourself that you are as worthy of being shown up for as anyone else in life. Make yourself a priority in your own life. Know that you are enough, and appreciate how far you’ve come in your personal growth and success.
Always take time for yourself, and know that it isn’t selfish, it isn’t lazy, it isn’t anything negative. It is essential. Making yourself a priority in your own life is absolutely essential, and should be treated as such.
10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself Notes
If you’ve read all the way through my 10 simple ways to show up for yourself, then you are obviously committed to showing up for yourself and taking actionable steps to doing so each and every day. I am proud of you, and you should be equally proud of yourself!
There is no need to change who you are to fit in with someone else’s idea of perfection. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself, and you do just that by showing up for yourself every day. You are enough!
When you use these 10 simple ways to show up for yourself, you become unstoppable and you absolutely deserve to do so! Push yourself to be the best, so you can achieve your dreams and goals and be the best version of yourself that you can be.
10 simple ways to show up for yourself every day is not only a form of self-care, it is a way you show yourself both love and respect.
10 Simple Ways to Show Up for Yourself Discussion
Has this list of 10 simple ways to show up for yourself helped you? Are there areas that need your attention more than others? Is this something you struggle with? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!